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Monday, 9 August 2010

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO ENJOYING FOOTBALL 26-6-08

I love football. I love the passion and the skill displayed by the best players, I love the determination which the smaller teams have to beat superior opponents, I love yelling at the referees and screaming till I'm hoarse when my team scores.

I am aware, however, that my view is not shared by all women.

Traditionally the football stadium was the man's domain, a rough, rude and occasionally violent place unsuitable for families and intimidating to women.

This is no longer true, today's stadiums are safe, bright and family friendly. With this kind of inclusion inevitably some of the rawness of the sport has been lost. Still, few places offer the chance to channel your aggression in a (mostly) positive manner.

The other complaints that women usually level at football are that its boring, or that it is just a game.

I reject both these assertions completely.

Being English, when I talk about football, I mean eleven aside football, or what American readers call 'soccer'. The Premier League saturated as it is with exotic foreign players, still has grass roots and regional pride at its heart. It is exciting because anything can happen, and frustrating because you have no control over the game. It is heart breaking when your team loses a big game or heaven forbid gets relegated and it's wonderful when they win.

Far from being 'just a game' football is a huge part of our lives, like it or not. As a multi million dollar business, football affects advertising, celebrity and even politics.

When I was growing up if you called my house when there was football on my mother would either not answer or lecture the unfortunate caller on the importance of football.

As dedicated a football fan as you are likely to find, my mother in her youth socialised with players and has supported her local team, our local team, for over forty years.

Along with a serious shoe addiction and a penchant for tall dark men, I also inherited my love of football from her.

Not only am I a woman and a football fan, I am a sports journalist, writing about my local team and others for a website. With this in mind I feel I am sufficiently qualified to advise the women of the world how to enjoy the beautiful game:

1)The key to enjoying football or indeed any spectator sport, is to throw yourself into it. If you sit in the stands determined to be disinterested and complaining of the cold why on earth would you expect to enjoy it?

2)Wear the right clothes: You need to be warm and comfortable or you will just want to go home. No heels because sod's law says you will be seated at the top of the stadium if you wear inappropriate footwear. Even if the game is a date don't dress up, on top of possible hypothermia you will inevitably spill the over-priced fast food said date has purchased down your favorite top and/or get dirty trainer marks on your white jeans from the seat. Instead wear dark jeans, a big coat and sensible shoes. Wearing your team's colours will also help you get into the spirit of the game and get you instantly accepted.

3)Being a true football fan is a noisy business! Their are songs to be belted out, insults to be hurled at incompetent referees/players/managers and you'll need to cheer loudly when your team scores, note that this will probably be accompanied by some joyous arm waving and hugging of random strangers!

4)Learn the rules: offside, penalties, violent conduct-it's not hard to learn but knowing what's going on will make the game more exciting-promise!

And finally if all else fails look at the scenery...

5)Hot men:Just because you are engrossed in the plot of a film doesn't mean you can't simultaneously check out the actors. The same rules apply to football. There will be two teams full of fit young men in little shorts, it would be positively rude not to notice their toned physiques...

First published on www.Helium.com on 26/6/08

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