I hate being right when I've been negative. It throws my sunny disposition completely out of sorts.
And right now I am as far from 'sunny' as Matthew Upson is from being a world class defender.
Firstly, those who have been reading my columns will know that I was not confident we would beat Germany, and further back I was wavering on whether we would even get out of the group.
Why? What makes a normally optimistic football fan have such low expectations?
Where do I start?
I wasn't convinced by Capello, the tactics, the players or the performances.
I thought the attitude was wrong, the preparation and organisation poor and the inability to take a risk was dangerous.
Like I said, I hate being right.
But I'm not an international manager. I'm a sports journalist and a Boro fan.
And yet, I could see how it was playing out. So why couldn't Capello?
I'm not really an England fan because I find it hard to support a team who rarely look like they care. Also, the current team is such a bunch of unlikeable arrogant underachievers that cheering them on feels hypocritical.
But I still care. My mood last night and this morning is a testament to that.
There are a couple of exceptions.
I have always been a big fan of Joe Cole, I think he is a special player in a sea of mediocrity in the English game.
And Peter Crouch seems like a good guy who is underused when he could be most effective.
I'm also going to use this opportunity to say that yesterday was probably the only time I have ever, or will ever, feel sorry for David James.
I made no secret of the fact that I thought our goalkeepers, as a nation, are weak. And that of the three I would have started with Joe Hart, brought James for his experience and not even have thought of Robert Green.
If you concede four goals in a match you usually look at the goalkeeper.
Goalkeepers are supposed to be vocal, organise their defences and be impenetrable. But James tried to do the first two. He was screaming, usually the clear and reasonable questions of "What the f**k are you doing?" and "Where the f**k are you?"
And his defence, ironically as a unit, completely abandoned him. They hung him out to dry.
I'm not sure some of these players are capable of being ashamed of themselves, but, as James might say, they f**king should be!
There were so many ways I could have approached this column, because I have a hell of a lot to say, but to avoid an unstructured rant, fun as they are, I've settled on a 'That's what happens when' format. So here goes.
That's what happens when:
1. You choose full-backs on the basis that they are 'good going forward'.
Glen Johnson was positively skipping out of the way of Klose in yesterday's utter humilation. Ashley Cole was in Germany's box doing nothing while they were scoring in ours, possibly channelling Wayne Bridge.
2. You continue to play Matthew Upson.
Yes he got to start against Germany because he was part of the team who narrowly beat Slovenia.
But scoring a goal with some part of your face does not make up for almost single-handedly conceding two, He. Should. Have. Been. Subbed.
3. You take Matthew Upson in the first place.
I'm not blaming him, because I've never heard of a player being called up and saying 'no mate I had a shocking season and I'm just not good enough' but there's always a first time and maybe that's exactly what he should have said.
4. You pin all your hopes on Gareth Barry.
Another common theme in my columns, what the hell was all that about? he's been nonexistent for Manchester City all season, he's lazy, not fully fit and slow.
5. Wayne Rooney decides he's played enough football and would rather shout at the fans for not giving him the usual level of adoration, instead of earning it.
6. You leave Adam Johnson at home.
Yes I'm biased, but it doesn't make me wrong. The Germany team that beat us did so with a mixture of youth and experience, we left the 'youth' who is currently the country's best young player at home.
7. You put Fabio Capello in charge.
Not 'an Italian' because I don't think 'being foreign' is any excuse. I think if you have the most important job in football you do everything you can to be successful at it. Learning how to talk to your players should have been a no-brainer.
8. You don't have David Beckham.
I know he's injured so he couldn't play, but we missed him on the pitch, even while he was looking worried, in a GQ sort of way, in the dugout.
9. You mistake an improvement from 'dismal' to 'mediocre' as England being back to their best, whatever that is these days.
10. The players have no heart and the boss has no clue.
I hate to say this because I think it is a phrase fans overuse about players they have never met, but when Lampard's goal was disallowed, if only out of professional pride, he should have thought "right, sod that, I'll score two!" But no, 'Lamps' tried for about ten minutes, hit the crossbar and decided it wasn't his day and gave up.
Rooney just didn't turn up for the tournament at all.
Terry and Upson may as well not have done, and Cole and Johnson forgot the 'back' part of 'attacking full-backs'. Again.
Peter Crouch and Joe Cole, the only two players who looked 'good' in spells were woefully underused. As, to a lesser extent, was Jermain Defoe.
Michaels Carrick and Dawson, and Stephen Warnock should have been allowed to go on holiday.
That goes double for Joe Hart.
Aaron Lennon left us in no doubt that he is not the player he was before his long injury spell, James Milner showed he is not yet England class, if he ever will be, and Rob Green made sure we'd remember him for all the wrong reasons.
Oh yes, and Shaun Wright-Phillips took the opportunity to show exactly why he's Adam Johnson's sub at City.
Well done one and all.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 28/6/2010
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