Every time something goes wrong in the England camp, you can bet that an 'expert' will tell you that a manager has never won the World Cup with a team of a different nation.
Fabio Capello is not going to be the first.
But is not like Capello's the only one, the Ghana manager is Serbian, the Australian manager is Dutch, and the Ivory Coast coach is Sven Goran Eriksson!
The France manager is French, but most of the country would rather he wasn't!
Back in England, Adam Johnson and Theo Walcott must be furious. Or, incredibly depressed that this bunch of (insert expletive of your choice here) were chosen ahead of them.
During the second half of what I refuse to call 'a match', I was idly wondering if Beckham would make a good manager. And with all due respect to 'Becks', when you think an Ex England player who spends most of his time posing in his Calvins should be running your national team, your know you're in trouble!
But at least he was swearing and gesturing, at least there was passion.
Capello looks lost. But still stubborn.
Occasionally you see this in men of 'power'. Tony Blair had the same expression for at least the last year of his tenure as PM.
It says "I know i've really buggered it up, but ive buried my head so far in the sand that I literally can't even remember why I thought I was right in the first place. And now i'm about to suffocate."
Not that all the blame is Capello's.
I do think he has 'lost the dressing room' - stupid phrase, it's not like the players paint over the sign and sit quietly relishing the confusion which ensues.
Although, given recent results that may not be such a bad idea! And perhaps it would be a team bonding activity.
I also think he is not-so slowly-unravelling. But I thought that since the bizarre business with the 'Capello Index'. Obviously I don't know the guy, but it seemed so out of character. Worringly so.
Anyone who has read my columns regarding the England selections knows how I felt about his choice of players.
Call me naive, but I don't understand how you can come in to a job where you are getting paid more than your predecessors, bring no new ideas, bring back players who are past it, leave out potential match winners, seemingly because they have never been included before, make no tactical changes, only allow like for like substitutions and think that you are doing your job.
It's like he thinks he can't be blamed if he follows an old blueprint, even if it is so obviously not working.
If it's not broke don't fix it. But it is broken, and so are the players.
Which brings me onto the footballers. Allegedly.
Press are speculating that the players are scared of Capello, and won't stand up to him.
But these are without exception some of the most arrogant men on the planet. This one and any other that exists.
John Terry and Frank Lampard stayed at Chelsea only after their already exorbitant wages were doubled. Ashley Cole is, well, Ashley Cole, and Rooney is a man-child so conceited that having put in one of the worst displays anyone has ever had the misfortune to witness from a England player, he shouted at the fans for not adoring him.
My point is that I don't buy it.
Unless Capello literally flogs them if they stray from his rigid unworkable 4-4-2 then they have no excuse.
They are the ones on the pitch and they are the ones who can raise their game, encourage each other, or at the very least stop playing like Barrow's B team on a bad day. When six of them have food poisoning, and two have broken legs.
Apologies to Barrow.
The England v Algeria match was horribly reminiscent of watching Boro v Cardiff. Boro fans will need no further explanation of this, for the rest of the readers, it was just like Algeria, only without Wayne Rooney's mouth.
There. Was. Nothing. There.
Algeria probably can't work out how they didn't win, as England did sweet FA to stop them.
We can take some consolation in the fact that Patrick Veira still thinks the French are worse, but really dear readers, this is as bad as it gets.
And when things are this bad, schadenfreude is essential.
We have to thank the French for creating one of the biggest cock-ups in World Cup history. And inevitably, John Terry's gotten himself mixed up in it - more on that later.
It was obvious from France's dispirited 'display' against Uruguay that they were struggling behind the scenes.
Stories of underage prostitutes and a general hatred of the manager are not the best ways to start a World cup qualifying campaign.
National disgrace due to cheating isn't an ideal final stage either.
But it is not Henry that's the problem. He just sits there looking like he ran over his own puppy.
It's Evra, Domenech, Gallas and Monsieur Anelka that are causing all the trouble.
The former is sulking that noone wants him to be captain, Gallas is furious that he isn't captain. which brings us to Anelka.
Nicolas Anelka was several steps ahead of me when he allegedly suggested that Domenech go occupy himself elsewhere, and cast aspertions as to Domenech's mother's profession/morality...
The Chelsea man has been sent home, not really for what he said, more because of he had no intention of apologising for it. He has since retired from the national side. But then, it hardly matters as his team mates will probably be joining in him in less than a week.
And who did the media appoint as Anelka's character witness? John Terry. Yes, really.
I mean come on, yes they are Chelsea team mates, but we all know exactly how much stock Terry puts in someone being his team mate! And having Terry stand up for anybody's moral character is patently ridiculous.
In all likelihood, both the French and the English are on their way home. We'll all become 'British' again in order to support Andy Murray at Wimbledon.
And the French will sit on balconys dipping croissants into black coffee, or something.
It could be because we are European. Or, it could be because our football teams are a disgrace to our nations.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 21/6/2010
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