Rise of the Silver Surfer is a big budget summer blockbuster sequel, and has all the flaws of the genre.
The plot, such as it is, requires not only a suspension of disbelief, but the utter absence of intelligence.
The trailer tells us that "Everywhere the Silver Surfer goes, eight days later the planet dies". Why eight days? Who knows, perhaps the writers thought seven was too Biblical.
It is one of the little niggles that let the film down. The problem is that there are just too many.
The CGI is amazing, convincingly depicting both the London Eye and outer space, but it is not enough to distract from the silly plot and lacklustre performances.
The Silver Surfer has the kind of futuristic appeal to ensure million-dollar merchandise deals and is certain to return.
Jessica Alba is gorgeous, just not in this movie.
Attempts to make her look "all-American" in keeping with her comic book character have resulted in a custard-yellow wig and cold blue contact lenses which do nothing to help her acting.
Despite the plethora of man-candy - Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd and Julian McMahon - I was still checking my texts after about an hour.
Evans once again provides the fun factor, but it looks uncomfortable with the new, more mature Johnny Storm he has been asked to play; while veteran star Michael Chiklis is given very little to do.
The PG certificate is a mistake because only the under-nines will be able to ignore the plot holes.
Not only is it not fantastic, it is not even particularly good.
2 1/2 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
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