Footballers tend to have a pack mentality - a trend starts and they all follow it.
Last season it was shiny black off-road vehicles. They couldn't park them, they never needed the extra seating and the furthest these cars ever went was Hurworth or Yarm High Streets. But nonetheless, every Boro player worth his salt owned at least one.
This year the accessory of choice is a baby.
It is an old joke that baby booms occur when there is nothing on TV but no matter how good the surround sound is on their plasma TVs, there are only so many times a player can sit and watch himself on the DVD of Boro's last season.
For a relatively young team, there are a significant number of fathers amongst the Boro squad. But perhaps there is another explanation, besides boredom, for all these mini Boro boys and girls.
The future of MFC will depend on the strength of our academy and by reproducing mini replicas of themselves, the Boro players could in fact be providing new recruits in the form of their own offspring!
Following this theory, the star pupil of this new academy system has to be Didier Digard who brought his five year old son with him to the Boro.
Considering that Boro schoolboys tend to be at the club between the ages of eight to sixteen before either turning professional or being dropped, it is conceivable that Digard Jr could be joining the ranks at Hurworth in less than five years time.
In these frugal times, we could even recycle the shirts. They would look suitably retro by then.
Jeremie Aliadiere was first to get off the mark this season when his partner gave birth to the couple's first child in the summer.
The Frenchman was closely followed by new number one goalkeeper Ross Turnbull who also became a father for the first time as the season got going.
Last week it was twenty-two year old Tony McMahon who missed the Manchester United match to be present at the birth of his first child.
The problem is that Ali and Turnbull's children are both girls - perhaps they are generously safeguarding the future of women's football too...
Jeremie's daughter is named Ava, thus making sure commentators who already have trouble with 'Jeremie Aliadiere' will be struggling to pronounce it for years to come. Try saying Ava Aliadiere once fast, let alone ten times! But will she be a striker or a winger?
Boro's alleged hard man David Wheater recently confessed that he wants nothing more than to settle down with his girlfriend and have two children, whilst continuing to play football for the Boro. He even has a tattoo down one arm with space for his future children's names!
When the journalist he was talking to rather cruelly pointed out that he may only have one child, or could conceivably have triplets, Wheater looked crestfallen for a few minutes until the answer came to him. "I have another arm!"
Don't get me wrong, this sudden baby boom is preferable to many past crazes the Boro boys have indulged in. I was at college with many of Boro's illustrious youth and can recall the tanned, bleached, pastel-wearing parade all too well.
And of course, parenthood brings with it a sense of responsibility and maturity.
Messageboard sightings of the players in their every day lives have changed from "Guess which Boro player I saw drunk in Yarm" to "Guess which Boro player I saw buying baby food in Sainsbury's"
Ross Turnbull is a changed man. Speaking to him last season he was always somewhat bitter about his third choice position but the removal of Mark Schwarzer and the birth of his baby daughter have brought out his confidence and mellowed him.
Some players, though, are just not committed to the cause. Alves's son is in a Brazilian academy learning his trade whilst Cattermole's treble vodka red bulls would never have aided his ability to father any 'Super' offspring.
Freddie Ljungberg at the height of his career claimed he never had sex prior to a match because he lost the feeling in his feet. While it is tempting to suggest that those Calvin Kleins were cutting off the circulation to his brain, it does raise questions of the Boro boys - after all, we are not exactly free scoring (on the pitch) are we?
And once they bring these little bundles of joy home, it's sleepless nights and piles of dirty nappies for these boys.
Explaining his daily routine in Red Square recently, Aliadiere said:
"Basically I get up when my daughter does! At this time of the morning, it's my turn to give our baby her bottle."
Now I'm all for hands-on fathering - no amount of early morning feeds or changing of nappies the man can do will equate to childbirth and don't forget it - but juggling first-time fatherhood with a career as a Premier League footballer must be tough.
One hour's training, four days a week and a quick kick-about on a Saturday afternoon would only leave, well actually eons of time to nurture children.
As captain, Pogatetz already has two children. Sure they look angelic modelling with their proud parents in the MFC catalogue, but don't be fooled. They are Pogi's children remember and world domination will surely follow...
First published on www.ComeOnBoro.com on 6/1/2009
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