Every four years England goes World Cup crazy, every advert features at least one player, a football or an England flag - depending on advertising budgets, news is reported along the lines of how it affects the World Cup, and those who don't participate are ostracized.
This isn't a rant against the World Cup - I love football and, like the rest of the country, will be planning my social life around the games.
But the whole country goes nuts, and the build up starts earlier every time.
It's like Christmas, only with occasional sunshine, perhaps this is what it's like to be Australian?
Anyway, I digress.
It isn't Christmas that I object to, nor the anticipation and excitement leading up to it, its the inevitable anti-climax. And the World Cup is usually the same.
Don't get me wrong, I think the human race, and particularly the British, need to get excited about more things, not less.
But what is driving me slightly crazy, in a bad way, is the total lack of perspective.
Stories abound about people being banned from wearing England shirts, even though there is little evidence to support the conspiracy theories.
And back on the pitch, every player is irreplaceable, as soon as they get injured or show exptremely poor judgement in their choice of bedfellows/drinking establishments or, in the case of the French, team bonding activities!
England often suffer from relying on individuals, but we love to do so, because it gives us a ready made excuse.
And with 14 days until the competition kicks off, the media have already produced this raft of reasons why we didn't win it (while all the while insisting we will).
"We didn't win the World Cup because..."
In no particular order: Wayne Rooney/Gareth Barry/John Terry got injured, the WAGS distracted the players, we couldn't cope with the altitude, bad reffing, penalties and transfer talk distracted the players.
Perhaps it is the fact that I'm a working journalist now, rather than at college as I was in the summer of 2000, or working in a bar without air conditioning in the heatwave of 2004, but I'm determined to enjoy this World Cup, rather than have great expectations and a massive comedown.
I'm trying to bring a sense of proportion to the proceedings.
I realise that, as a journalist, I'm perpetuating the cycle, but at least there will be no mention of 'we can't win the World Cup without Gareth Barry' here.
Bloody hell, if that's what it comes down to then we may as well watch Wimbledon, like the Scottish.
Since when did Gareth Barry become irreplaceable?!
Following his big money move to Man City - during which he conducted himself with manners befitting a sulky toddler - he has underwhelmed in just about every game of City's season, before putting in half a shift against Spurs and injuring himself in the process.
At the time of writing he has been put through 'rigorous training' and could be fit for purpose in about a month's time.
But he will still go. He's just the latest in a long line which is congering towards South Africa regardless of form or fitness.
Earlier this week, Talk Sport were asking how the listeners would like Capello to tell the seven unfortunates that they are not going to the World Cup.
I'd go with the reality Tv route. They have to wait for the lights to go out (meaning thay are going) until there a seven left. Phillip Schofield would announce the names.
At which point I start arguing with the TV as of the people involved can hear me!
There's the 'American's Next Top Model' route - if there isn't a picture of you, or maybe your shirt, then you aren't going.
I'm actually surprised the final selection isn't televised, the ratings would be huge!
But back to business, the seven I would leave behind are (in no particular order) Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Shaun-Wright-Philips, Emile Heskey, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock, Tom Huddlestone.
Although, as mentioned further down this column, Warnock could jump ahead of Baines if he gets a chance against Japan.
Why the others? Well, I think due to 'slight injury concerns' regarding messers Terry, King and Ferdinand, Dawson is a strong insurance policy.
Faffing about waiting to see if Barry is fit is an unnecessary headache when Parker has had a far better season.
Michael Carrick is the opposite of 'in form' and has been for about the last ten months.
Emile Heskey would never ever get in a team I pick, it is that simple.
I'd take more wingers than central midfielders because you only tend to sub central midfielders due to injury or if they are having a nightmare. Whereas wingers, as well as strikers, make the best impact subs.
My final 23 would therefore be:
Goalkeepers: Joe Hart, David James, Robert Green.
Defenders: Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry.
Midfielders: Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott.
Forwards: Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Wayne Rooney.
Having selected the team, Capello will still have to make them play together.
My colleague suggested that the best way to get Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard to work together was to handcuff them to each other and send them on a 'buddy movie' style adventure where they overcome some kind of jeporady and end up best friends for life.
Gerrard could admire Frank 'I've got an A Level in Latin' Lampard's intelligence, and Lamps would come to appreciate Stevie G's Scouser streetsmarts.
"You can be my wingman anytime"
"Bullshit, you can be mine!"
See, beautiful.
Although, for the record, I recommend Gerrard never plays on the left wing, he spent the whole of the first half against Mexico sulking and providing no support to the totally lost-looking Leighton Baines.
Speaking of Baines, anyone who is really trying to get into the squad would not be spouting off about being homesick and finding it hard being away from his family. Sorry, Baines, but suck it up and get on with it!
Baines, if he hasn't already blown his chances with an inept performance against Mexico, has a good chance of going to South Africa as back-up for Ashley Cole. And yet he's giving Capello every reason not to pick him. Bet Stephen Warnock wants to punch him right now!
If Warnock doesn't play against Japan this Sunday, he is not going. On the other hand, if he does get a run out, probably in the second half as a sub for Cole, he will not have to do much to better Baines' display against Mexico, one block or well-timed tackle would do it.
Also on the chopping block are Tom Huddlestone, Michael Dawson, Michael Carrick, Darren Bent or Emile Heskey, Scott Parker, Shaun-Wright-Philips, Theo Walcott, and perhaps to a lesser extent? Joe Cole, Aaron Lennon and Adam Johnson.
This is a true test of whether Capello will stand by pledge to pick players on 'form over reputation'.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 28/5/2010
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