Over 1,500 supporters turned out to get their first glimpse of ‘Gordon Strachan’s Red and White army!’ as the Riverside hosted Boro’s Family Fun Day on Tuesday.
Noisy support almost filled the West Stand, while face painting, a band, concourse catering and fabulous giveaway prizes were also on offer.
The event was also open to Boro Season Card holders and Boro Pride members and was aimed at introducing the fans to Boro’s 2010-11 squad, particularly new Estonian signing Tarmo Kink, as the players trained and then were divided into two teams to play a match.
Head of Supporter Services Anthony Emmerson says: "It was a great family afternoon with entertainment for all ages. How many fans can say they've seen a Boro v Boro game at the Riverside?
"We decided to give our Season Card Holders and members of Boro Pride exclusive access as our way of saying thanks for the commitment they have shown the club."
Last season it poured down all the way the open training session, perhaps a bad omen which we as fans chose to ignore?
Let’s hope the clear skies this time around point to a smoother season ahead.
The team also posed for their annual official squad photograph, the first for a Boro side entirely of Strachan’s making. And while there may be a few changes still to take place before the transfer window closes, Boro’s new early bird approach to signings means that the squad picture should bare far more of a resemblance to the team we follow this season than in previous campaigns.
Following the match, media were invited to a press conference with new Boro striker Kris Boyd.
“It’s been difficult, a lot of chopping and changing, new faces, it takes time to settle but each game we’ve moved on.”
“Managers have got different ways of working with players, Walter Smith stood back and Strachan likes to get involved. It’s been good, and all the boys are buzzing.”
Boyd’s former Celtic rival, Aussie Scott McDonald, will now be the Boyd’s first choice strike partner, and Boyd believes the pair have started to develop an understanding.
“The last couple of games we’ve looked, a lot better, sharper, even in training. On Saturday we can get the ball rolling, get on the score sheet, and get a result.”
But Boyd will not panic if Saturday’s match against Ipswich doesn’t quite go according to plan.
“It’s a long season; it can take three or four games to get going. He explained.
“There are a lot of boys who’ve had a taste of winning medals as such and they want to get this club back in the Premier League to do that we need to win the league. We’re confident we can set up a good challenge and its one to look forward to.”
The large Scottish contingent at the club has made Boro the object of some good natured banter, but Boyd insists the team have all got to know each other know, regardless of their birthplace or former club.
“It’s always good to have people to help you settle in and get to know everybody else but we’ve been together three or four weeks now and come Saturday, I’m sure we’ll click.”
Boro are currently the bookies favourites to win the league but Boyd doesn’t believe the club’s popularity with the punters will increase the pressure on his new team.
“It’s a pressure if you let it me a pressure, we all know that if we just focus on the job ahead and get our heads down we’ve got a good chance but you can’t get carried away because a bookmaker says we are favourites to win the league or even be top goalscorer, there’s a lot of work to be done between now and the end of the season.”
“It is exciting for me anywhere, and we want to win games, get over the finishing line.
“[At Rangers] We could win ten matches, draw the eleventh and it’s a crisis. We can bring that experience across here.
“Team’s aren’t going to come in and lay down for us; they will make it hard for us to break them down.
“The most important thing is the team winning. As strikers, we want to score goals, but you can never get carried away. You want to win every game and score in every game but that’s not possible.”
And ‘Boydy’ is nobody’s fool. When asked a potentially contentious question from the Guardian’s Louise Taylor regarding whether it was “nice to get away from all the anti-Semitism which surrounds the Old Firm clubs”, Boyd was at pains to point out that “it is not as bad as people make it out to be”
“You can stick from Celtic if you’re Rangers and Rangers if you’re Celtic, but it’s not religious.” He added.
Boyd is also back in the fold for Scotland, with a slightly awkwardly timed (for Boro) friendly against Sweden next week.
“It’s a privilege to play for your country. Boyd said. “Obviously I’ve had my problems in the past but that’s behind me now. I’m here for Scotland and I look forward to working under Craig Leveine.”
Following the training match, Boyd and his teammates signed autographs – many on Boro’s new look strips – and in among all the new signings, it was pleasing to see long term injury absentees Matthew Bates, Tony McMahon and Seb Hines moving freely and getting involved.
This will be a make or break season for Boro as a club, but there is a sense or cohesion running through the camp which has not been present for quite sometime. Whether you agree with Strachan peopling his ‘army’ with Old Firm recruits or not, he understands that the Championship is a battle and only those with real fighting spirit have made it through his gruelling boot camp.
Today, the scrapping for supremacy begins, bring it on!
First published in FMTTM 7/8/10
Monday, 30 August 2010
THE WEIGHT-ING IS OVER - 19/4/08
Three months ago, four fabulous Boro fans vowed to get fit and lose weight in order to raise some much needed money for the Middlesbrough Disabled Supporters Association. Last week, the wait, and the weigh-ins were finally over.
They aimed to raise up to £4,000 towards the cost of a much-needed new mini-bus to help Boro’s disabled fans travel to away games.
Between them, the lads were hoping to lose 10 stone. In fact they bettered their target by 9 Ibs, and raised approximately £7, 000 towards the new mini bus.
Ian Woods, the lightest of the slimmers at the initial weigh-in, said “We did better than the 10 stones anyway; everyone’s more or less reached their targets.
“As long as we reached the target [collectively] it doesn’t matter.
“Everyone at Sporting Lodge has been brilliant, and having the incentive [raising the funds for the MDSA] makes a difference.
“The bus is still on the road but we need that target. It’s ongoing.
“I look at what I ate before and what I eat now and its clear the amount of rubbish I was eating.”
The lads stuck to a sensible eating plan and took advantage of three months free membership at the Sporting Lodge Gym.
Weekly weigh- ins revealed that the weight was falling off them. They had shed 2 stone after the first week of work outs at Sporting Lodge, while eating sensibly. After 8 weeks they were almost up to 8 stone.
Amy Liddle, manager of the gym was involved with every stage of the slimathon, she said: “They’ve been wonderful, really dedicated and we have kept a close eye on them to make sure everything was going well”, she also said that the gym had received lots of positive feedback during the three months.
The three months may be up, but the lads are not packing away the scales and abandoning the treadmills, Jason Watkin who is due to be married next year, explained he will carry on slimming and exercising for the sake of his health and his family.
He said: “That’s one of the incentives. I’ve got three girls, I want to watch them grow up and get married.
“The kids love it because I can be daft dad again.
“I changed my lifestyle, just little things that everyone can do but I’ve got more energy.
“I want to lose another couple of stone before I get married next year.”
He said he drives a lot for his job and used to eat unhealthy because of it. Now however he is keeping healthy snacks such as cherry tomatoes in his car to stop him eating unhealthy fast food.
Fellow slimmer Alan lost over three stone but is also going to continue with his new regime, he said: “I want to lose another four stone but I admit I’m looking forward to a few weeks off!
Vital Statistics:
Alan Murray: 21 stone 10 pounds to 18 stone 6 pounds.
A loss of 3 stone 4 pounds.
Jason Watkin: 20 stone 1 pound to 17 stone 8 pounds.
A loss of 2 stone 7 pounds.
Dave Barnes: 15 stone 12 pounds to 13 stone 8 pounds.
A loss of 2 stone 2 pounds.
Ian Woods: 14 stone 11 pounds to 12 stone 3 pounds.
A loss of 2 stone 8 pounds.
The sponsored slim was supported by Middlesbrough Football Club, Garmin and the Sporting Lodge Gym.
MDSA needs to raise a further £25,000 towards the £50,000 cost of a new coach, as the club’s old mini-bus has seen better days after ferrying members around England and Europe over the past eight years. Future sponsorship events will be revealed very soon.
You can still don't to the cause - the fellas shed pounds in coin.
First published in FMTTM 19/4/08
They aimed to raise up to £4,000 towards the cost of a much-needed new mini-bus to help Boro’s disabled fans travel to away games.
Between them, the lads were hoping to lose 10 stone. In fact they bettered their target by 9 Ibs, and raised approximately £7, 000 towards the new mini bus.
Ian Woods, the lightest of the slimmers at the initial weigh-in, said “We did better than the 10 stones anyway; everyone’s more or less reached their targets.
“As long as we reached the target [collectively] it doesn’t matter.
“Everyone at Sporting Lodge has been brilliant, and having the incentive [raising the funds for the MDSA] makes a difference.
“The bus is still on the road but we need that target. It’s ongoing.
“I look at what I ate before and what I eat now and its clear the amount of rubbish I was eating.”
The lads stuck to a sensible eating plan and took advantage of three months free membership at the Sporting Lodge Gym.
Weekly weigh- ins revealed that the weight was falling off them. They had shed 2 stone after the first week of work outs at Sporting Lodge, while eating sensibly. After 8 weeks they were almost up to 8 stone.
Amy Liddle, manager of the gym was involved with every stage of the slimathon, she said: “They’ve been wonderful, really dedicated and we have kept a close eye on them to make sure everything was going well”, she also said that the gym had received lots of positive feedback during the three months.
The three months may be up, but the lads are not packing away the scales and abandoning the treadmills, Jason Watkin who is due to be married next year, explained he will carry on slimming and exercising for the sake of his health and his family.
He said: “That’s one of the incentives. I’ve got three girls, I want to watch them grow up and get married.
“The kids love it because I can be daft dad again.
“I changed my lifestyle, just little things that everyone can do but I’ve got more energy.
“I want to lose another couple of stone before I get married next year.”
He said he drives a lot for his job and used to eat unhealthy because of it. Now however he is keeping healthy snacks such as cherry tomatoes in his car to stop him eating unhealthy fast food.
Fellow slimmer Alan lost over three stone but is also going to continue with his new regime, he said: “I want to lose another four stone but I admit I’m looking forward to a few weeks off!
Vital Statistics:
Alan Murray: 21 stone 10 pounds to 18 stone 6 pounds.
A loss of 3 stone 4 pounds.
Jason Watkin: 20 stone 1 pound to 17 stone 8 pounds.
A loss of 2 stone 7 pounds.
Dave Barnes: 15 stone 12 pounds to 13 stone 8 pounds.
A loss of 2 stone 2 pounds.
Ian Woods: 14 stone 11 pounds to 12 stone 3 pounds.
A loss of 2 stone 8 pounds.
The sponsored slim was supported by Middlesbrough Football Club, Garmin and the Sporting Lodge Gym.
MDSA needs to raise a further £25,000 towards the £50,000 cost of a new coach, as the club’s old mini-bus has seen better days after ferrying members around England and Europe over the past eight years. Future sponsorship events will be revealed very soon.
You can still don't to the cause - the fellas shed pounds in coin.
First published in FMTTM 19/4/08
BORO DEFENDER RECEIVES ROYAL RECEPTION AT KINGS ACADEMY - 3/5/08
England International Luke Young took time out this week to visit students at Kings Academy, Coulby Newham. He answered questions on health and fitness as a well as MFC, enjoyed a guided tour around the school’s impressive facilities, and even stunned and delighted students by sitting in on parts of their Monday afternoon lessons.
Young was present to congratulate youngsters who completed a full-year project involving specialist fitness coaching and careers advice with the Enterprise Academy.
In addition to the health and careers work, students have also received a nationally recognised qualification for their effort- a unique benefit of the Enterprise Academy’s accredited teaching programme.
Students also received signed photos of Luke, and were given the chance to ask him anything they liked in a no holds barred question and answer session.
Questions ranged from “Where have you visited as a player?” [Luke had dropped in on a geography lesson] to “Where did you get your jeans?” to which Luke replied “I don’t know, I reckon the missus must have bought me these!”
Luke said: “I’ve been quite lucky really; when I was playing for the U21s we visited Poland. I’ve played in tournaments in Slovakia, Albania and Switzerland.
It’s my first season here and it’s not looking like we are quite getting into Europe this season! Hopefully next season.”
“I love Portugal. My nana and granddad lived there. Pretty much every year I pop over.”
The defender and his entourage of press also surprised a home economics session where Luke wanted to stay to taste the Swiss roll which the students were cooking, but he had far less conviction in his own baking skills, remarking “This is going to go everywhere isn’t it?” when he was handed a food mixer.
The school features plasma screens, a specially designed carpet to help its visually impaired students, and a Wall of Fame, featuring Boro youth starlet Nathan Porritt, a former pupil at Kings.
Mr Rhodes, Kings Vice Principle told Luke “Nathan Porritt had to request permission to be allowed to play for the school, but I’m glad he did because he was quite keen.”
During the tour, Luke also witnessed dance and PE lessons, and checked out the fantastic gym facilities the school has to offer.
He then faced a question and answer session in the schools Lecture Theatre where he spoke about his fitness regime, and dished the dirt on team mate Robert Huth’s oxygen tank…
Luke said: “Depending on how many games we’ve got coming up. We come in, go to the gym, do upper body work.
“It’s more preventative than anything, it depends on the player.
“The level we are playing at mean everyone’s so fit. You can’t get away with chucking things in your body or going out drinking.
“If we need help, there are people at the club but it is just self discipline really.
“Robert Huth has looked into one [an oxygen tank] to get himself fit. He sleeps on his own in oxygen tank, maybe it’s just an excuse to get away from his missus!
“My worst injury was a medial knee ligament sprain.
“Players are different, mostly they leave it to us, and we know our bodies better than anyone else.”
Luke also gave the youngsters sensible advice regarding their futures, he said: “Keep doing your school work because you never know what is going to happen.
“I knew of people at my old school that felt that they were going to be footballers and that was it. But you don’t know what is going to happen.
“I was pushed by my mum to do my home work, and do it to the best of my ability; I think it’s very important.
“When I was in the youth team if you didn’t do your work you had a chance of being let go.”
Mr Rhodes, Vice Principal, said: "We were very privileged to have a sportsman of Luke's calibre come and see what we are providing for children in this area. It was a great opportunity for our students to talk to somebody who could give them a real insight into what it takes to get to the very top in professional sport."
As part of the MFC Community Project, the Enterprise Academy has delivered the course since 2002 throughout the Tees Valley.
Tutors on the ground breaking programme have used MFC as a model to inspire Tees Valley students and help them “switch on” to the topics of business, enterprise and self-employment.
MFC in the community’s Enterprise and Health Manage, Anthony Emmerson said: “This event is truly unique as it’s not every day a Premier League footballer walks the corridor of a Middlesbrough comprehensive school.
“The students have achieved great things on this programme and I know that that they have been really looking forward to telling Luke about their achievements.”
Luke was obviously impressed with the school, he asked intelligent questions throughout the tour and was genuinely interested in the answers he received, he said:
“I enjoyed coming down here today. Hopefully they enjoyed asking me questions about what we do day to day.
“I came from Charlton to Boro and both were good with community work.
“We are here to give something back I think it’s great to do that.
“Nobody came to my school. Hopefully it’s been good for them asking questions and learning what they didn’t know.
“It’s been good, I never had the chance when I was at school for someone to come in and a lot are taking A Level PE.
“The first thing I noticed looking out the window was the astro turf. The facilities are State of the Art.
“If I had to come to school this is one of the places I would like to come.
“It was good that a lot of them are Middlesbrough supporters.”
Supported by funding from the Single Programme and developed in a partnership between MFC, Middlesbrough Council and Stockton –on Tees Borough Council, the Enterprise Academy uses the football club as the model business when teaching the region’s young people about business and the world of work.
More than 25, 000 young people have already benefited from the mentoring, exciting activities and accredited courses on offer.
First published in FMTTM 3/5/08
Young was present to congratulate youngsters who completed a full-year project involving specialist fitness coaching and careers advice with the Enterprise Academy.
In addition to the health and careers work, students have also received a nationally recognised qualification for their effort- a unique benefit of the Enterprise Academy’s accredited teaching programme.
Students also received signed photos of Luke, and were given the chance to ask him anything they liked in a no holds barred question and answer session.
Questions ranged from “Where have you visited as a player?” [Luke had dropped in on a geography lesson] to “Where did you get your jeans?” to which Luke replied “I don’t know, I reckon the missus must have bought me these!”
Luke said: “I’ve been quite lucky really; when I was playing for the U21s we visited Poland. I’ve played in tournaments in Slovakia, Albania and Switzerland.
It’s my first season here and it’s not looking like we are quite getting into Europe this season! Hopefully next season.”
“I love Portugal. My nana and granddad lived there. Pretty much every year I pop over.”
The defender and his entourage of press also surprised a home economics session where Luke wanted to stay to taste the Swiss roll which the students were cooking, but he had far less conviction in his own baking skills, remarking “This is going to go everywhere isn’t it?” when he was handed a food mixer.
The school features plasma screens, a specially designed carpet to help its visually impaired students, and a Wall of Fame, featuring Boro youth starlet Nathan Porritt, a former pupil at Kings.
Mr Rhodes, Kings Vice Principle told Luke “Nathan Porritt had to request permission to be allowed to play for the school, but I’m glad he did because he was quite keen.”
During the tour, Luke also witnessed dance and PE lessons, and checked out the fantastic gym facilities the school has to offer.
He then faced a question and answer session in the schools Lecture Theatre where he spoke about his fitness regime, and dished the dirt on team mate Robert Huth’s oxygen tank…
Luke said: “Depending on how many games we’ve got coming up. We come in, go to the gym, do upper body work.
“It’s more preventative than anything, it depends on the player.
“The level we are playing at mean everyone’s so fit. You can’t get away with chucking things in your body or going out drinking.
“If we need help, there are people at the club but it is just self discipline really.
“Robert Huth has looked into one [an oxygen tank] to get himself fit. He sleeps on his own in oxygen tank, maybe it’s just an excuse to get away from his missus!
“My worst injury was a medial knee ligament sprain.
“Players are different, mostly they leave it to us, and we know our bodies better than anyone else.”
Luke also gave the youngsters sensible advice regarding their futures, he said: “Keep doing your school work because you never know what is going to happen.
“I knew of people at my old school that felt that they were going to be footballers and that was it. But you don’t know what is going to happen.
“I was pushed by my mum to do my home work, and do it to the best of my ability; I think it’s very important.
“When I was in the youth team if you didn’t do your work you had a chance of being let go.”
Mr Rhodes, Vice Principal, said: "We were very privileged to have a sportsman of Luke's calibre come and see what we are providing for children in this area. It was a great opportunity for our students to talk to somebody who could give them a real insight into what it takes to get to the very top in professional sport."
As part of the MFC Community Project, the Enterprise Academy has delivered the course since 2002 throughout the Tees Valley.
Tutors on the ground breaking programme have used MFC as a model to inspire Tees Valley students and help them “switch on” to the topics of business, enterprise and self-employment.
MFC in the community’s Enterprise and Health Manage, Anthony Emmerson said: “This event is truly unique as it’s not every day a Premier League footballer walks the corridor of a Middlesbrough comprehensive school.
“The students have achieved great things on this programme and I know that that they have been really looking forward to telling Luke about their achievements.”
Luke was obviously impressed with the school, he asked intelligent questions throughout the tour and was genuinely interested in the answers he received, he said:
“I enjoyed coming down here today. Hopefully they enjoyed asking me questions about what we do day to day.
“I came from Charlton to Boro and both were good with community work.
“We are here to give something back I think it’s great to do that.
“Nobody came to my school. Hopefully it’s been good for them asking questions and learning what they didn’t know.
“It’s been good, I never had the chance when I was at school for someone to come in and a lot are taking A Level PE.
“The first thing I noticed looking out the window was the astro turf. The facilities are State of the Art.
“If I had to come to school this is one of the places I would like to come.
“It was good that a lot of them are Middlesbrough supporters.”
Supported by funding from the Single Programme and developed in a partnership between MFC, Middlesbrough Council and Stockton –on Tees Borough Council, the Enterprise Academy uses the football club as the model business when teaching the region’s young people about business and the world of work.
More than 25, 000 young people have already benefited from the mentoring, exciting activities and accredited courses on offer.
First published in FMTTM 3/5/08
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL - 2007 REVIEW
Nearly two decades after Indy last hung up his whip and fedora, Dr Jones returns.
It's the '50s, he's got an impetuous kid in tow and he's on the hunt for an obscure mythical object. Oh and the Russians are coming!
Set against a Cold War backdrop, with a classic '50s soundtrack and a slightly skewed time-line, the action moves from the soda streams of middle America to rainforest, deserts, and a lost city.
Harrison Ford is physically fit and seems to relish slipping back into Indy's shoes. He enjoys the running about and the one-liners equally.
Shia LaBeouf is so much better than I expected, bringing the right mix of cocky greaser attitude and wide eyed innocence to his role. He's damn handy with a flick knife too.
I would have loved to see Indy senior in the movie, but you cannot make Sean Connery do anything he doesn't want to do. Karen Allen as Marion is as feisty and free-spirited as ever, providing some of the film's stand out moments.
There are definitely plot holes, silly scenes, loose ends and stunts that push the boundaries of believability, but come on, it's a ride, not a lecture!
The artefacts aren't real, but Indy has become a genuine icon, part of cinematic history and I for one think Indy 4 is an entertaining romp and a worthy sequel to the trilogy.
More fun than you can shake a snake at, welcome back Dr Jones.
4 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
It's the '50s, he's got an impetuous kid in tow and he's on the hunt for an obscure mythical object. Oh and the Russians are coming!
Set against a Cold War backdrop, with a classic '50s soundtrack and a slightly skewed time-line, the action moves from the soda streams of middle America to rainforest, deserts, and a lost city.
Harrison Ford is physically fit and seems to relish slipping back into Indy's shoes. He enjoys the running about and the one-liners equally.
Shia LaBeouf is so much better than I expected, bringing the right mix of cocky greaser attitude and wide eyed innocence to his role. He's damn handy with a flick knife too.
I would have loved to see Indy senior in the movie, but you cannot make Sean Connery do anything he doesn't want to do. Karen Allen as Marion is as feisty and free-spirited as ever, providing some of the film's stand out moments.
There are definitely plot holes, silly scenes, loose ends and stunts that push the boundaries of believability, but come on, it's a ride, not a lecture!
The artefacts aren't real, but Indy has become a genuine icon, part of cinematic history and I for one think Indy 4 is an entertaining romp and a worthy sequel to the trilogy.
More fun than you can shake a snake at, welcome back Dr Jones.
4 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
IRON MAN - 2007 REVIEW
Robert Downey Jnr plays Tony Stark, a high living, womanising weapons manufacturer who suffers an attack of conscience when he realises his legacy, and turns himself into Iron Man.
He has no super powers, other than his genius, so he creates an impenetrable metal suit, firstly for his own survival, and then to save the world!
If you are not a fan of the versatile and talented Mr Downey Jnr, you will not enjoy this movie, as there is barely a frame without him in it.
I love him - with barely a sardonic flick of one eyebrow, he can convey more expression than most actors of his generation manage in a whole film.
Gwyneth Paltrow plays the wonderfully named but thinly drawn Pepper Potts, Stark's loyal assistant.
Normally coldly attractive but curiously sexless, here Paltrow is still fashionably slim, but looks womanly and sexy. Marriage, motherhood and a less rigid diet look good on her.
A shaven headed Jeff Bridges provides Stark with a worthy adversary, Terrence Howard plays it straight as Stark's personal pilot and look out for a fun cameo by comic book legend Stan Lee.
Leslie Bibb as journalist Christine Everhart is attractive and intelligent, so obviously she is happy to abandon her interview and be seduced by Stark.
No doubt this is a personal gripe, but, along with inept police and corrupt politicians to name just two, this brand of female reporter is stereotype which seem sadly inevitable and self perpetuating in movie land.
Both appeallingly silly and somehow darkly real (particularly the scenes set in Afghanistan) Iron Man manages to be both a comic book caper and an examination of the weapons industry as mass produced consumerism.
Not very subtle hints point clearly towards a sequel. Expect to see more of Iron Man.
4 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
He has no super powers, other than his genius, so he creates an impenetrable metal suit, firstly for his own survival, and then to save the world!
If you are not a fan of the versatile and talented Mr Downey Jnr, you will not enjoy this movie, as there is barely a frame without him in it.
I love him - with barely a sardonic flick of one eyebrow, he can convey more expression than most actors of his generation manage in a whole film.
Gwyneth Paltrow plays the wonderfully named but thinly drawn Pepper Potts, Stark's loyal assistant.
Normally coldly attractive but curiously sexless, here Paltrow is still fashionably slim, but looks womanly and sexy. Marriage, motherhood and a less rigid diet look good on her.
A shaven headed Jeff Bridges provides Stark with a worthy adversary, Terrence Howard plays it straight as Stark's personal pilot and look out for a fun cameo by comic book legend Stan Lee.
Leslie Bibb as journalist Christine Everhart is attractive and intelligent, so obviously she is happy to abandon her interview and be seduced by Stark.
No doubt this is a personal gripe, but, along with inept police and corrupt politicians to name just two, this brand of female reporter is stereotype which seem sadly inevitable and self perpetuating in movie land.
Both appeallingly silly and somehow darkly real (particularly the scenes set in Afghanistan) Iron Man manages to be both a comic book caper and an examination of the weapons industry as mass produced consumerism.
Not very subtle hints point clearly towards a sequel. Expect to see more of Iron Man.
4 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER - 2007 REVIEW
Rise of the Silver Surfer is a big budget summer blockbuster sequel, and has all the flaws of the genre.
The plot, such as it is, requires not only a suspension of disbelief, but the utter absence of intelligence.
The trailer tells us that "Everywhere the Silver Surfer goes, eight days later the planet dies". Why eight days? Who knows, perhaps the writers thought seven was too Biblical.
It is one of the little niggles that let the film down. The problem is that there are just too many.
The CGI is amazing, convincingly depicting both the London Eye and outer space, but it is not enough to distract from the silly plot and lacklustre performances.
The Silver Surfer has the kind of futuristic appeal to ensure million-dollar merchandise deals and is certain to return.
Jessica Alba is gorgeous, just not in this movie.
Attempts to make her look "all-American" in keeping with her comic book character have resulted in a custard-yellow wig and cold blue contact lenses which do nothing to help her acting.
Despite the plethora of man-candy - Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd and Julian McMahon - I was still checking my texts after about an hour.
Evans once again provides the fun factor, but it looks uncomfortable with the new, more mature Johnny Storm he has been asked to play; while veteran star Michael Chiklis is given very little to do.
The PG certificate is a mistake because only the under-nines will be able to ignore the plot holes.
Not only is it not fantastic, it is not even particularly good.
2 1/2 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
The plot, such as it is, requires not only a suspension of disbelief, but the utter absence of intelligence.
The trailer tells us that "Everywhere the Silver Surfer goes, eight days later the planet dies". Why eight days? Who knows, perhaps the writers thought seven was too Biblical.
It is one of the little niggles that let the film down. The problem is that there are just too many.
The CGI is amazing, convincingly depicting both the London Eye and outer space, but it is not enough to distract from the silly plot and lacklustre performances.
The Silver Surfer has the kind of futuristic appeal to ensure million-dollar merchandise deals and is certain to return.
Jessica Alba is gorgeous, just not in this movie.
Attempts to make her look "all-American" in keeping with her comic book character have resulted in a custard-yellow wig and cold blue contact lenses which do nothing to help her acting.
Despite the plethora of man-candy - Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd and Julian McMahon - I was still checking my texts after about an hour.
Evans once again provides the fun factor, but it looks uncomfortable with the new, more mature Johnny Storm he has been asked to play; while veteran star Michael Chiklis is given very little to do.
The PG certificate is a mistake because only the under-nines will be able to ignore the plot holes.
Not only is it not fantastic, it is not even particularly good.
2 1/2 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
DIE HARD 4.0 - 2007 REVIEW
Bruce Willis returns in the fourth (and probably final) Die Hard film and, to my mind, it's an instant classic.
I grew up watching the trilogy and loving John McClane, so I was not certain whether a new Die Hard could live up to the hype.
I am happy to report therefore that it is as good as Die Hard 1 and 3 - we all know 2 had something missing.
The stunts are breathtaking, the fight sequences are beautifully choreographed while still looking brutal and spontaneous, and the body count may even be higher than the original.
McClane deals with every situation with wisecracks or bullets and Bruce Willis has lost none of his ironic charm in the role.
Timothy Olyphant follows in the footsteps of Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons as the pyschotic terrorist who becomes McClane's very personal problem.
Although not quite as fun as watching British thespians playing mad Germans, Olyphant has a certain crazed charisma, which serves him well as the "bad guy".
Justin Long looks at home as Willis's partner, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead is fiesty and fun as McClane's daughter.
Is the plot logical, with no continuity errors? Of course not! But I promise you, you won't care.
This Die Hard is so good I forgot I was in a cinema. I loved it!
5 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
I grew up watching the trilogy and loving John McClane, so I was not certain whether a new Die Hard could live up to the hype.
I am happy to report therefore that it is as good as Die Hard 1 and 3 - we all know 2 had something missing.
The stunts are breathtaking, the fight sequences are beautifully choreographed while still looking brutal and spontaneous, and the body count may even be higher than the original.
McClane deals with every situation with wisecracks or bullets and Bruce Willis has lost none of his ironic charm in the role.
Timothy Olyphant follows in the footsteps of Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons as the pyschotic terrorist who becomes McClane's very personal problem.
Although not quite as fun as watching British thespians playing mad Germans, Olyphant has a certain crazed charisma, which serves him well as the "bad guy".
Justin Long looks at home as Willis's partner, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead is fiesty and fun as McClane's daughter.
Is the plot logical, with no continuity errors? Of course not! But I promise you, you won't care.
This Die Hard is so good I forgot I was in a cinema. I loved it!
5 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX - 2007 REVIEW
Now, I have to confess, I am not a fan of Harry Potter - shocking I know.
I have read bits of the books, seen parts of the films, and nothing about the boy wizard has ever enchanted me.
However, I was mildly curious, and my friend wanted to see it, so I found myself agreeing to go and see the latest movie.
I would love to say I realised the error of my ways and fell in love with the magical world of Potter, but I would be lying.
I liked the secret spell preparation, and the little touches of imagination, such as the miaowing cat plates, which let you know you are in a weird and wonderful new world.
But I did not want to stay there.
The narrative was bitty, and, I am led to believe, did not follow JK Rowling's book at all faithfully.
My friend was helpfully trying to explain past events to me, but kept stopping to cry in outrage, "that's not right!".
I know there is more to come, but Ralph Fiennes was still massively under-used, as were many of the excellent "adult" actors who form the ensemble cast.
As for the children, too many of the once baby-faced pupils now look old enough to drink at the, no doubt, lavish wrap-party.
Daniel Radcliffe is left to carry the story, and although his acting has improved since his first outing as Harry - how could it not have? - he still lacks the expression and depth to share heavyweights such as Fiennes and Gary Oldman.
Sorry to all the hardcore Potter fans out there, I respect your dedication, but for me, the magic was missing.
3 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
I have read bits of the books, seen parts of the films, and nothing about the boy wizard has ever enchanted me.
However, I was mildly curious, and my friend wanted to see it, so I found myself agreeing to go and see the latest movie.
I would love to say I realised the error of my ways and fell in love with the magical world of Potter, but I would be lying.
I liked the secret spell preparation, and the little touches of imagination, such as the miaowing cat plates, which let you know you are in a weird and wonderful new world.
But I did not want to stay there.
The narrative was bitty, and, I am led to believe, did not follow JK Rowling's book at all faithfully.
My friend was helpfully trying to explain past events to me, but kept stopping to cry in outrage, "that's not right!".
I know there is more to come, but Ralph Fiennes was still massively under-used, as were many of the excellent "adult" actors who form the ensemble cast.
As for the children, too many of the once baby-faced pupils now look old enough to drink at the, no doubt, lavish wrap-party.
Daniel Radcliffe is left to carry the story, and although his acting has improved since his first outing as Harry - how could it not have? - he still lacks the expression and depth to share heavyweights such as Fiennes and Gary Oldman.
Sorry to all the hardcore Potter fans out there, I respect your dedication, but for me, the magic was missing.
3 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
SWEENEY TODD - THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET - 2007 REVIEW
A wronged man and a besotted pie-maker form an unholy alliance resulting in a murderous rampage and some belting show tunes - how can anyone resist?
A Tim Burton film promotes certain expectations, an abundance of stripes, a gothic mise-en-scene, and usually Johnny Depp. All elements are present in a film that may be the most completely Tim Burton's.
This is a strange comment when you consider the film is based on Steven Sondheim's stage musical, but it has been joyfully twisted and tweaked by Burton and writer John Logan. Blood pours, spurts and spatters everywhere, but it is deliberately stylised violence.
The blood is too thick and too red to be realistic and at times Sweeney literally whistles while he works!
It is unnerving to see Captain Jack Sparrow slitting people's throats with gay abandon, but then it is almost equally unnatural seeing Johnny Depp belting out stage numbers.
Depp retains his "Pirates" accent and looks like a cross between Edward Scissorhands and a dashing ghost. Clad in velvet, ashen faced with black eyes and bloody hands, Depp's Sweeney Todd is a haunting and haunted figure.
For me though, Helena Bonham Carter does the impossible and outshines the mesmerising Mr Depp.
Her Mrs Lovett is a practical creature who has adapted to the merciless world she lives in and thinks nothing of murder as long as it is for a "good reason" and there is "no waste".
The pair never fully lose our sympathy, in part due to their powerhouse performances, and partly because villains Alan Rickman and Timothy Spall are so wonderfully repulsive that the viewer rather thinks they have it coming!
Not the average musical. People burst into song in odd situations and sing their feelings rather than speak to each other, but this is an altogether darker experience. Like combining The Silence of the Lambs with The Sound of Music. Genius or madness? You decide.
4 1/2 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
A Tim Burton film promotes certain expectations, an abundance of stripes, a gothic mise-en-scene, and usually Johnny Depp. All elements are present in a film that may be the most completely Tim Burton's.
This is a strange comment when you consider the film is based on Steven Sondheim's stage musical, but it has been joyfully twisted and tweaked by Burton and writer John Logan. Blood pours, spurts and spatters everywhere, but it is deliberately stylised violence.
The blood is too thick and too red to be realistic and at times Sweeney literally whistles while he works!
It is unnerving to see Captain Jack Sparrow slitting people's throats with gay abandon, but then it is almost equally unnatural seeing Johnny Depp belting out stage numbers.
Depp retains his "Pirates" accent and looks like a cross between Edward Scissorhands and a dashing ghost. Clad in velvet, ashen faced with black eyes and bloody hands, Depp's Sweeney Todd is a haunting and haunted figure.
For me though, Helena Bonham Carter does the impossible and outshines the mesmerising Mr Depp.
Her Mrs Lovett is a practical creature who has adapted to the merciless world she lives in and thinks nothing of murder as long as it is for a "good reason" and there is "no waste".
The pair never fully lose our sympathy, in part due to their powerhouse performances, and partly because villains Alan Rickman and Timothy Spall are so wonderfully repulsive that the viewer rather thinks they have it coming!
Not the average musical. People burst into song in odd situations and sing their feelings rather than speak to each other, but this is an altogether darker experience. Like combining The Silence of the Lambs with The Sound of Music. Genius or madness? You decide.
4 1/2 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE - 2007 REVIEW
The second instalment of the life of the Virgin Queen, Elizabeth: The Golden Age is a visually stunning, expertly rendered costume spectacle - but I still preferred its predecessor.
I'm not sure why it left me slightly disappointed.
Cate Blanchett puts in another powerhouse performance, Clive Owen is the epitome of rugged masculinity as Sir Walter Raleigh, scenery and costumes are beautiful and nobody puts a foot wrong.
Maybe that is the problem - it's all a little too polished.
Everything about the film is so good that it becomes slightly off-putting. I would also have liked more suspense.
As with the first film, we see Elizabeth as the constant target of treason and heresy, yet this time you don't get a sense of danger because the narrative moves so smoothly.
Enjoyable and impressive, but somehow it didn't satisfy me.
3 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
I'm not sure why it left me slightly disappointed.
Cate Blanchett puts in another powerhouse performance, Clive Owen is the epitome of rugged masculinity as Sir Walter Raleigh, scenery and costumes are beautiful and nobody puts a foot wrong.
Maybe that is the problem - it's all a little too polished.
Everything about the film is so good that it becomes slightly off-putting. I would also have liked more suspense.
As with the first film, we see Elizabeth as the constant target of treason and heresy, yet this time you don't get a sense of danger because the narrative moves so smoothly.
Enjoyable and impressive, but somehow it didn't satisfy me.
3 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
27 DRESSES - 2007 REVIEW
At Christmas we get Santa, in the summer you can't move for superheroes and spring sees a raft of white meringue dresses.
The fabulously hideous dresses of the title are used to poke fun at the ridiculous lengths people go to, to plan their "big day".
The premise: eternal bridesmaid with a crush on her boss meets cynical writer with a chip on his shoulder about weddings, and sparks fly, may be flimsy, but this breezy rom-com avoids shameless sentimentality and has a lot of heart.
Critics complain that James Marsden and Katherine Heigl have no chemistry. They banter, they sing drunkenly in a bar followed by a steamy session in their car - what more do you want?
Heigl is dressed in a variety of dowdy outfits, wearing little make-up and is less blonde than usual, presumably to try to make the audience believe her boss hasn't noticed she's stunning. It doesn't work.
Heigl is naturally beautiful, warm and genuinely funny; while Marsden has done the genre before as the "other guy", the one who doesn't get the girl.
It is nice to see him play the lead, he seems completely comfortable. Charming and self-assured but not too cocky, Kevin is the guy you can't help falling for.
Once again the spoilt, selfish younger sister (note to film-makers, we aren't all like that!) causes problems for our heroine.
Swede Malin Ackerman should stick to modelling or take some acting lessons, but Judy Greer is great as Jane's level-headed best friend.
3 1/2 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
The fabulously hideous dresses of the title are used to poke fun at the ridiculous lengths people go to, to plan their "big day".
The premise: eternal bridesmaid with a crush on her boss meets cynical writer with a chip on his shoulder about weddings, and sparks fly, may be flimsy, but this breezy rom-com avoids shameless sentimentality and has a lot of heart.
Critics complain that James Marsden and Katherine Heigl have no chemistry. They banter, they sing drunkenly in a bar followed by a steamy session in their car - what more do you want?
Heigl is dressed in a variety of dowdy outfits, wearing little make-up and is less blonde than usual, presumably to try to make the audience believe her boss hasn't noticed she's stunning. It doesn't work.
Heigl is naturally beautiful, warm and genuinely funny; while Marsden has done the genre before as the "other guy", the one who doesn't get the girl.
It is nice to see him play the lead, he seems completely comfortable. Charming and self-assured but not too cocky, Kevin is the guy you can't help falling for.
Once again the spoilt, selfish younger sister (note to film-makers, we aren't all like that!) causes problems for our heroine.
Swede Malin Ackerman should stick to modelling or take some acting lessons, but Judy Greer is great as Jane's level-headed best friend.
3 1/2 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
THE ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND - 2007 REVIEW
This is a "popcorn movie" - fun while it lasts but ultimately forgettable. Personally, though I quite like popcorn movies. I like the experience of going to the cinema, so the film I'm watching doesn't always have to be mind-blowing for me to enjoy it.
It was interesting to see the three protagonists being played by fortysomething actors as opposed to actors in their twenties playing teenagers.
This looks like a pay cheque part for Mr Firth, however. He is vastly under-used but he was always going to be, because he is not the leading man here.
Uma Thurman has been heavily criticised for her "slapstick comedy" and, while she does sometimes look ill at ease, it is still entertaining watching her go from straight-laced to passionate, playful and scatterbrained when she meets Patrick.
This should be Thurman's movie, she is likeable and looks fabulous - but it is really just a showcase for Grey's Anatomy heart-throb Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
I'll admit I watched this film to see Morgan on a bigger screen - and he delivers. An earthier leading man than those usually cast in rom-coms, Morgan's overt masculinity is refreshing in this genre.
If you are looking for ground-breaking cinema then go elsewhere. If, on the other hand, you are after something comfortingly familiar, try this formulaic but nonetheless sweet rom-com.
3 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
It was interesting to see the three protagonists being played by fortysomething actors as opposed to actors in their twenties playing teenagers.
This looks like a pay cheque part for Mr Firth, however. He is vastly under-used but he was always going to be, because he is not the leading man here.
Uma Thurman has been heavily criticised for her "slapstick comedy" and, while she does sometimes look ill at ease, it is still entertaining watching her go from straight-laced to passionate, playful and scatterbrained when she meets Patrick.
This should be Thurman's movie, she is likeable and looks fabulous - but it is really just a showcase for Grey's Anatomy heart-throb Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
I'll admit I watched this film to see Morgan on a bigger screen - and he delivers. An earthier leading man than those usually cast in rom-coms, Morgan's overt masculinity is refreshing in this genre.
If you are looking for ground-breaking cinema then go elsewhere. If, on the other hand, you are after something comfortingly familiar, try this formulaic but nonetheless sweet rom-com.
3 Stars.
First published in the Evening Gazette
Thursday, 26 August 2010
IS WAYNE ROONEY THE NEXT MICHAEL OWEN?
13-7-10
Wayne Rooney was undoubtedly the star of Manchester United's 2009-2010 season, but then there were hardly many contenders.
And then he brought a whole new meaning to the word 'underwhelming' with his World Cup 2010 performances.
If we take it that Rooney has done his best work for United when he is the main man, then he should have played out of his skin for England. Because he was the poster boy for England success.
Gerrard was the captain, Terry was the 'news' and Barry, oddly, was the 'one we couldn't do without' but Rooney should have been the goals.
The England team, as discussed ad nauseam, was full of crocks and overrated 'stars' as well as those who were simply past their best.
Aside from Rooney, the best players for United last season were Scholes, Giggs and Neville.
Really he should have been right at home in this patched up side of aging stars playing out of position.
The other argument given for Rooney's no-show in South Africa was the pressure which I'm going to give the time it deserves by moving swiftly on.
And then there was the lack of service.
The few goals we did score in the tournament came from Steven Gerrard - midfielder, Matthew Upson - defender and fellow striker Jermain Defoe.
This would suggest that they were in the right positions and created their own chances.
Also Rooney did not exactly have five star service at United last season, in fact he had Michael Carrick...
I'm not a Manchester United fan, but I have no particular dislike for Rooney.
The problem I do have regarding him, is that it seems to have taken the media until now to recognise just how injury-prone the 24-year-old is.
Type 'Wayne Rooney' into google and the first suggestion it will give you is 'injury'. If you follow this, it will give you a plethora of articles dated almost throughout Rooney's career detailing serious injuries.
The 'highlights' of this little record are recurring ankle and hamstring injuries and of course the broken metatarsal which was the cause of his poor form in the 2006 World Cup.
If anything though his tendency to get injured makes his Manchester United record even more impressive, 131 goals in 282 appearances.
Rooney replaced Michael Owen as the England wonder-kid, but he looks to be in danger of having an even shorter shelf life than his United teammate.
And their stories are very similar. Both were discovered as schoolboys banging in goals against teams older than themselves because they were just too good to play with boys their own age.
Owen is in danger of being forgotten, because he has spent far more years being injured than he did at the top of his game. Unwise career moves haven't helped, but we sometimes forget just how good Michael Owen was.
But Owen can still boast being the only player to ever have scored in four major tournaments for England, the 1998 World Cup, Euro 2000, the 2002 World Cup and Euro 2004.
That stunning goal against Argentina has justifably entered the cannon of great World Cup goals and its scorer was once mentioned in the same breath as George Best and Pele.
But not recently.
I vividly remember one of the tabloid newspapers running a mock up of Owen on a can of Carlsberg with the caption 'Probably the best striker in the world? Prove it!' I'm not sure if it was prior to Euro 2004 or the 2006 World Cup, but the media had stopped backing the Golden Boy.
Owen, as we all know got injured in the 2006 World Cup and has not scored in a major tournament for England since.
Never a favourite of Capello's, he is unlikely to ever wear an England shirt again.
And Rooney is in danger of repeating history, only without World Cup goals to fall back on.
Physically you would think the diminuative Owen would be far more, well, breakable but Rooney is more than giving him a run for his money.
Is he unlucky? Not properly prepared? Wearing the wrong boots? Who knows.
We are constantly told that Manchester United have the best facilities and they do seem to have avoided an injury crisis on the scale that most other clubs have experienced on regular basis.
Until last season.
Pretty much ten seasons of 'owed' injuries came to collect during United's last campaign, with Rooney succumbing in the final stages.
And it is not like Rooney is at peak physical condition to start with...
In the Powerade advert, where a shiftless Rooney takes on his alterego to show him how to correctly fuel his body, you can't help but smile at the irony. Rooney looks like one of the most unfit players at the top of the game. I'm not asking for ripling muscles, and I understand that the advertising appeal for men is that he looks far more like they do than say the greasy but chiseled body of Ronaldo (feel a little bit nauseous here but I'm working through it!) but the point is that he shouldn't look like the average bloke, he should be a honed athlete.
Reports have surfaced of Rooney, and other United players eating takeaway's, Chinese in Rooney's case, Fish and chips for Michael Carrick, on a far more than is healthy basis, and while United no doubt have a strict diet at the club, it will not do much good if the players fill their bodies with rubbish for the rest of the week!
I'm no nutritionist, but high calorie foods such a chinese should not be a regular (twice weekly) feature of a Premier League footballer's diet.
Any other player with Rooney's physique would, at best, be said to be 'carrying a bit of timber' but Rooney gets away with it because he's brilliant. Only now he has let us down on the biggest stage of all, he may not enjoy quite so many priviledges.
All Rooney's passion in the tournament went into his rant at the England fans, and had he then channelled his obvious frustration into a performance against Slovenia or Germany, nobody would have blamed him for it. But we all know how that turned out.
So what now for Rooney? Well, hopefully a long and distinguished career with World Cup success, but he might want to keep an eye on those ankles/hamstrings/metatarsals, and perhaps a few less takeaways might be a good idea!
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 13/7/2010
And then he brought a whole new meaning to the word 'underwhelming' with his World Cup 2010 performances.
If we take it that Rooney has done his best work for United when he is the main man, then he should have played out of his skin for England. Because he was the poster boy for England success.
Gerrard was the captain, Terry was the 'news' and Barry, oddly, was the 'one we couldn't do without' but Rooney should have been the goals.
The England team, as discussed ad nauseam, was full of crocks and overrated 'stars' as well as those who were simply past their best.
Aside from Rooney, the best players for United last season were Scholes, Giggs and Neville.
Really he should have been right at home in this patched up side of aging stars playing out of position.
The other argument given for Rooney's no-show in South Africa was the pressure which I'm going to give the time it deserves by moving swiftly on.
And then there was the lack of service.
The few goals we did score in the tournament came from Steven Gerrard - midfielder, Matthew Upson - defender and fellow striker Jermain Defoe.
This would suggest that they were in the right positions and created their own chances.
Also Rooney did not exactly have five star service at United last season, in fact he had Michael Carrick...
I'm not a Manchester United fan, but I have no particular dislike for Rooney.
The problem I do have regarding him, is that it seems to have taken the media until now to recognise just how injury-prone the 24-year-old is.
Type 'Wayne Rooney' into google and the first suggestion it will give you is 'injury'. If you follow this, it will give you a plethora of articles dated almost throughout Rooney's career detailing serious injuries.
The 'highlights' of this little record are recurring ankle and hamstring injuries and of course the broken metatarsal which was the cause of his poor form in the 2006 World Cup.
If anything though his tendency to get injured makes his Manchester United record even more impressive, 131 goals in 282 appearances.
Rooney replaced Michael Owen as the England wonder-kid, but he looks to be in danger of having an even shorter shelf life than his United teammate.
And their stories are very similar. Both were discovered as schoolboys banging in goals against teams older than themselves because they were just too good to play with boys their own age.
Owen is in danger of being forgotten, because he has spent far more years being injured than he did at the top of his game. Unwise career moves haven't helped, but we sometimes forget just how good Michael Owen was.
But Owen can still boast being the only player to ever have scored in four major tournaments for England, the 1998 World Cup, Euro 2000, the 2002 World Cup and Euro 2004.
That stunning goal against Argentina has justifably entered the cannon of great World Cup goals and its scorer was once mentioned in the same breath as George Best and Pele.
But not recently.
I vividly remember one of the tabloid newspapers running a mock up of Owen on a can of Carlsberg with the caption 'Probably the best striker in the world? Prove it!' I'm not sure if it was prior to Euro 2004 or the 2006 World Cup, but the media had stopped backing the Golden Boy.
Owen, as we all know got injured in the 2006 World Cup and has not scored in a major tournament for England since.
Never a favourite of Capello's, he is unlikely to ever wear an England shirt again.
And Rooney is in danger of repeating history, only without World Cup goals to fall back on.
Physically you would think the diminuative Owen would be far more, well, breakable but Rooney is more than giving him a run for his money.
Is he unlucky? Not properly prepared? Wearing the wrong boots? Who knows.
We are constantly told that Manchester United have the best facilities and they do seem to have avoided an injury crisis on the scale that most other clubs have experienced on regular basis.
Until last season.
Pretty much ten seasons of 'owed' injuries came to collect during United's last campaign, with Rooney succumbing in the final stages.
And it is not like Rooney is at peak physical condition to start with...
In the Powerade advert, where a shiftless Rooney takes on his alterego to show him how to correctly fuel his body, you can't help but smile at the irony. Rooney looks like one of the most unfit players at the top of the game. I'm not asking for ripling muscles, and I understand that the advertising appeal for men is that he looks far more like they do than say the greasy but chiseled body of Ronaldo (feel a little bit nauseous here but I'm working through it!) but the point is that he shouldn't look like the average bloke, he should be a honed athlete.
Reports have surfaced of Rooney, and other United players eating takeaway's, Chinese in Rooney's case, Fish and chips for Michael Carrick, on a far more than is healthy basis, and while United no doubt have a strict diet at the club, it will not do much good if the players fill their bodies with rubbish for the rest of the week!
I'm no nutritionist, but high calorie foods such a chinese should not be a regular (twice weekly) feature of a Premier League footballer's diet.
Any other player with Rooney's physique would, at best, be said to be 'carrying a bit of timber' but Rooney gets away with it because he's brilliant. Only now he has let us down on the biggest stage of all, he may not enjoy quite so many priviledges.
All Rooney's passion in the tournament went into his rant at the England fans, and had he then channelled his obvious frustration into a performance against Slovenia or Germany, nobody would have blamed him for it. But we all know how that turned out.
So what now for Rooney? Well, hopefully a long and distinguished career with World Cup success, but he might want to keep an eye on those ankles/hamstrings/metatarsals, and perhaps a few less takeaways might be a good idea!
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 13/7/2010
THE 2010 WORLD CUP, THE DAY AFTER THE FINAL BEFORE 12-7-10
Ok hands up, who had Spain to win from the beginning? (I put my left hand up when I typed that, then realised I was getting funny looks from motorists passing my office, and hastily retracted it!)
It is always somewhat satisfying to get something right, and for the best team on paper to triumph.
Then again even the bloody English/German octopus got it right! - Perhaps he felt the need to do something in life after rather randomly being named 'Paul'?
But I was still bored! And no, I'm not going to apologise for it.
During the World Cup final, I:
Downloaded four songs, updated my itunes, checked my emails, ate a cream-egg, sent and received several texts, had a conversation on msn and uploaded photos from my phone - Ash at the Empire in good old Boro were awesome!
Now, even allowing for multi-tasking, and that fact that I rarely totally focus on one thing, this gives anyone who didn't watch the final a rough idea of how bitty it was.
Following the match, Alan Shearer - a man who was never afraid to lead with his elbow - doubled his smugness levels to tell us that he had Spain from the start, and that the Dutch 'got what they deserved' for the disgusting game plan they set out with.
For the record, Mr Shearer also said that we could entirely discount the USA from the tournament as England would beat them comfortably and they would pose no threat to anyone. That'll be the USA that finished top of our group then.
I worked the 2006 World Cup final (as a barmaid) so pretty much just remember stifling heat, glimpses of the tv as I served drinks, and a businessman muttering 'at least it wasn't the bloody Germans!" at the end of it.
I was therefore fairly excited to be free to watch this year's offering, and being fairly neutral, just hoped for a good game with a lot of goals given that the race for the Golden Boot was so close.
Hmmm.
I'm not disappointed that Spain won it, I'm disappointed that they did so with four 1-0 draws! That's not a precedent we want setting.
Shouldn't a team with so much attacking talent, attack more? And in doing so, shouldn't a team packed to the rafters with goalscorers score a few more goals?
Perhaps I'm being greedy, but pretty passing is all very well, (and even more impressive when you've got a Dutchman wrapped round your legs) but it's goals we cheer.
And now Dirk Kuyt's moaning about Howard Webb showing too many yellows to the orange assassins?! Some of them were going after the man with the single minded determination of hired killers, long after the ball had bounced away.
I do think Webb started to get just about everything wrong the longer the game went on, but they weren't big decisions. And he did guess right when I doubt very much he saw one or two of the later fouls.
Let's be honest, Kuyt, Webb could have been officiating 8 v 11 with half an hour gone.
But I'm pleased there are new World Champions and I liked Richard Bacon's assertion that if Ghana were playing for all of Africa then surely both Spain and Holland were playing for the whole of Europe?, so we couldn't lose and are all now champions! - Excellent!
The third place play-off was a far more entertaining affair, if not quite 'a fight to the death' as Uruguay manager Oscar Tabarez billed it. It didn't fall far short.
In fact it was probably one of the best games in the tournament, football wise and for me personally, as these were my favourites teams in the competition going head to head.
Mueller showed exactly how much Germany had missed him in the semi-final against Spain by scoring in the 18th minute and Diego Forlan responded with another cracker to make it 2-2 and made the race for the Golden Boot even tighter.
Nobody had told these guys that the game was meaningless.
Both teams fought hard but Germany were the victors, although Forlan came agonizingly close to taking the game to extra time when he hit the crossbar with literally the last kick of the game - that's the kind of match I want to watch.
If we are judging on potential, the Germans should walk it in 2014, and actually I'd be pretty happy with that, although I wouldn't say no to England winning it, obviously.
Four years to go with the Euros in between!
And finally, a totally gratuitous shout out to Teesside University Futsal Club, who will be representing Great Britain in the European Championships in Zagreb at the weekend.
I'm not going to use my column to put ridiculous pressures on them like we do with the footballers, just wish them good luck and lots of goals! I'm sure the boys will do us proud!
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 12/7/2010
It is always somewhat satisfying to get something right, and for the best team on paper to triumph.
Then again even the bloody English/German octopus got it right! - Perhaps he felt the need to do something in life after rather randomly being named 'Paul'?
But I was still bored! And no, I'm not going to apologise for it.
During the World Cup final, I:
Downloaded four songs, updated my itunes, checked my emails, ate a cream-egg, sent and received several texts, had a conversation on msn and uploaded photos from my phone - Ash at the Empire in good old Boro were awesome!
Now, even allowing for multi-tasking, and that fact that I rarely totally focus on one thing, this gives anyone who didn't watch the final a rough idea of how bitty it was.
Following the match, Alan Shearer - a man who was never afraid to lead with his elbow - doubled his smugness levels to tell us that he had Spain from the start, and that the Dutch 'got what they deserved' for the disgusting game plan they set out with.
For the record, Mr Shearer also said that we could entirely discount the USA from the tournament as England would beat them comfortably and they would pose no threat to anyone. That'll be the USA that finished top of our group then.
I worked the 2006 World Cup final (as a barmaid) so pretty much just remember stifling heat, glimpses of the tv as I served drinks, and a businessman muttering 'at least it wasn't the bloody Germans!" at the end of it.
I was therefore fairly excited to be free to watch this year's offering, and being fairly neutral, just hoped for a good game with a lot of goals given that the race for the Golden Boot was so close.
Hmmm.
I'm not disappointed that Spain won it, I'm disappointed that they did so with four 1-0 draws! That's not a precedent we want setting.
Shouldn't a team with so much attacking talent, attack more? And in doing so, shouldn't a team packed to the rafters with goalscorers score a few more goals?
Perhaps I'm being greedy, but pretty passing is all very well, (and even more impressive when you've got a Dutchman wrapped round your legs) but it's goals we cheer.
And now Dirk Kuyt's moaning about Howard Webb showing too many yellows to the orange assassins?! Some of them were going after the man with the single minded determination of hired killers, long after the ball had bounced away.
I do think Webb started to get just about everything wrong the longer the game went on, but they weren't big decisions. And he did guess right when I doubt very much he saw one or two of the later fouls.
Let's be honest, Kuyt, Webb could have been officiating 8 v 11 with half an hour gone.
But I'm pleased there are new World Champions and I liked Richard Bacon's assertion that if Ghana were playing for all of Africa then surely both Spain and Holland were playing for the whole of Europe?, so we couldn't lose and are all now champions! - Excellent!
The third place play-off was a far more entertaining affair, if not quite 'a fight to the death' as Uruguay manager Oscar Tabarez billed it. It didn't fall far short.
In fact it was probably one of the best games in the tournament, football wise and for me personally, as these were my favourites teams in the competition going head to head.
Mueller showed exactly how much Germany had missed him in the semi-final against Spain by scoring in the 18th minute and Diego Forlan responded with another cracker to make it 2-2 and made the race for the Golden Boot even tighter.
Nobody had told these guys that the game was meaningless.
Both teams fought hard but Germany were the victors, although Forlan came agonizingly close to taking the game to extra time when he hit the crossbar with literally the last kick of the game - that's the kind of match I want to watch.
If we are judging on potential, the Germans should walk it in 2014, and actually I'd be pretty happy with that, although I wouldn't say no to England winning it, obviously.
Four years to go with the Euros in between!
And finally, a totally gratuitous shout out to Teesside University Futsal Club, who will be representing Great Britain in the European Championships in Zagreb at the weekend.
I'm not going to use my column to put ridiculous pressures on them like we do with the footballers, just wish them good luck and lots of goals! I'm sure the boys will do us proud!
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 12/7/2010
GOLDEN BOOTS AND BRONZED BALDERDASH 10-7-10
As we hurtle towards the final, in the manner of a young Alan Smith in his Leeds heyday going in for a tackle, aside from the eventual world champions, we still have the top scorer and the player of the tournament to decide.
Despite not making the final, Germany and Uruguay both have strong contenders for both awards.
If we ignore Spain's David Villa and Holland's Wesley Sneijder (don't panic its only for a minute!) then it could be Germany's Miroslav Klose v his young teammate Thomas Mueller for the Golden Boot.
Both men have scored four goals in the tournament thus far and both scored against England.
Klose is one goal shy of Ronaldo's all time World Cup tally. - that's the chunky Brazilian Ronaldo with the teeth mind you, not the posing, pouting, pratt who was largely pointless for Portugal. Don't you just love alliteration?
However Klose has also succumbed to the disadvantges of being one of the older members of a German squad who look like they need parental consent for the overseas trip, by sustaining a back injury.
This could rule the elder player out, giving Mueller free rein to torment Uruguay - More on Muelller later.
Alternatively Manchester United flop and the best player Middlesbrough ever had stolen from a airport, probably, Uruguay's Diego Forlan could increase his own tally and scoop the third Golden Boot of his career, and his first for a World Cup spree.
Do these guys put them on their mantlepieces? sent them to Cash for Gold? Use them as paperweights for their favourite laminated 'Hello' 'exclusives'?
Anyway, the problem is that he's injured too.
Uruguay also have an outside hope in the new Thierry Henry, Luis Suarez. Although, Suarez would need a hat-trick, and none of the others to find the net, to take the prize as well as his teammates took the piss when they carried him aloft their shoulders following his dismissal against Ghana.
But most likely, the Golden Boot is a straight fight between Villa and Sneijder, the latter of whom may be awarded the strike if anyone Spanish makes a mistake, after all these things are suppose to come in threes!
Villa looks like he might run away with it, if it is awarded on goals of actual merit that the scorer physically scored, but that would be far too simple!
Not that I blame Sneijder, all good footballers claim goals that do not belong to them, a bit like Robert Green.
Moving on and we come to the nominees for the best player in the tournament.
Unsurprisingly Villa, Sneijder and Forlan are there but so too are the goalless Messi representing high scoring Argentina, and sympathy vote, Ghana's Asamoah Gyan who missed the penalty from Suarez' handball.
Spanish midfielders Xavi and Andres Iniesta are included, with Holland's Arjen Robben going for a personal double. Robben is also up for the Dutch equivalent of a BAFTA (DAFTA?) for his anguished performance in the semi-final against Uruguay.
And here come the Germans again, with the strange-eyed but brilliantly footed Mesut Ozil up against 'Pig Mounter' Bastian Schweinsteiger, who has, as the kids say these days, been 'immense'.
We also have the best youngster to saddle with an impossible-to-live-up-to tag of the best young player in the 2010 World Cup.
You would be forgiven for believing that England's Adam Johnson would be in with a shout due to those magic six minutes against Mexico in the pre-tournament friendlies, because due to his absence from the tournament, he has become England's best player, despite being untested at anything like this level.
But no, the favourite is a twenty-year-old Bayern Munich midfielder called Thomas, who shares his surname with the self proclaimed 'best selling yoghurt brand in the UK' according to Tiffany from Eastenders, circa the mid to late 1990s.
This British love of yoghurt did not, however, extend to Mueller, particularly as he scored the last two goals in the 4-1 humilation which were the last two nails in England's coffin, although not, apparently, Fabio Capello's.
But I rather like him, umlauts and all.
Mueller is a bit of a Cinderella story in that he was a reserve player less than a year and a half ago.
A classy player and full of confidence, Mueller also appears to be intelligent and articulate, expressing his desire for Holland to win as it would reflect well on his club Bayern Munich to have two 2010 World Cup winners, in Arjen Robben and Mark van Bommel, in the squad.
Hopefully he won't join a Premier League club who will systematically beat these qualities out of him.
The other contenders are Ghana's Andre Ayew and Mexico's Giovani Dos Santos, both of whom would probably be voted MVP by their respective nations, but surely Mueller's got this one licked?
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 10/7/2010
Despite not making the final, Germany and Uruguay both have strong contenders for both awards.
If we ignore Spain's David Villa and Holland's Wesley Sneijder (don't panic its only for a minute!) then it could be Germany's Miroslav Klose v his young teammate Thomas Mueller for the Golden Boot.
Both men have scored four goals in the tournament thus far and both scored against England.
Klose is one goal shy of Ronaldo's all time World Cup tally. - that's the chunky Brazilian Ronaldo with the teeth mind you, not the posing, pouting, pratt who was largely pointless for Portugal. Don't you just love alliteration?
However Klose has also succumbed to the disadvantges of being one of the older members of a German squad who look like they need parental consent for the overseas trip, by sustaining a back injury.
This could rule the elder player out, giving Mueller free rein to torment Uruguay - More on Muelller later.
Alternatively Manchester United flop and the best player Middlesbrough ever had stolen from a airport, probably, Uruguay's Diego Forlan could increase his own tally and scoop the third Golden Boot of his career, and his first for a World Cup spree.
Do these guys put them on their mantlepieces? sent them to Cash for Gold? Use them as paperweights for their favourite laminated 'Hello' 'exclusives'?
Anyway, the problem is that he's injured too.
Uruguay also have an outside hope in the new Thierry Henry, Luis Suarez. Although, Suarez would need a hat-trick, and none of the others to find the net, to take the prize as well as his teammates took the piss when they carried him aloft their shoulders following his dismissal against Ghana.
But most likely, the Golden Boot is a straight fight between Villa and Sneijder, the latter of whom may be awarded the strike if anyone Spanish makes a mistake, after all these things are suppose to come in threes!
Villa looks like he might run away with it, if it is awarded on goals of actual merit that the scorer physically scored, but that would be far too simple!
Not that I blame Sneijder, all good footballers claim goals that do not belong to them, a bit like Robert Green.
Moving on and we come to the nominees for the best player in the tournament.
Unsurprisingly Villa, Sneijder and Forlan are there but so too are the goalless Messi representing high scoring Argentina, and sympathy vote, Ghana's Asamoah Gyan who missed the penalty from Suarez' handball.
Spanish midfielders Xavi and Andres Iniesta are included, with Holland's Arjen Robben going for a personal double. Robben is also up for the Dutch equivalent of a BAFTA (DAFTA?) for his anguished performance in the semi-final against Uruguay.
And here come the Germans again, with the strange-eyed but brilliantly footed Mesut Ozil up against 'Pig Mounter' Bastian Schweinsteiger, who has, as the kids say these days, been 'immense'.
We also have the best youngster to saddle with an impossible-to-live-up-to tag of the best young player in the 2010 World Cup.
You would be forgiven for believing that England's Adam Johnson would be in with a shout due to those magic six minutes against Mexico in the pre-tournament friendlies, because due to his absence from the tournament, he has become England's best player, despite being untested at anything like this level.
But no, the favourite is a twenty-year-old Bayern Munich midfielder called Thomas, who shares his surname with the self proclaimed 'best selling yoghurt brand in the UK' according to Tiffany from Eastenders, circa the mid to late 1990s.
This British love of yoghurt did not, however, extend to Mueller, particularly as he scored the last two goals in the 4-1 humilation which were the last two nails in England's coffin, although not, apparently, Fabio Capello's.
But I rather like him, umlauts and all.
Mueller is a bit of a Cinderella story in that he was a reserve player less than a year and a half ago.
A classy player and full of confidence, Mueller also appears to be intelligent and articulate, expressing his desire for Holland to win as it would reflect well on his club Bayern Munich to have two 2010 World Cup winners, in Arjen Robben and Mark van Bommel, in the squad.
Hopefully he won't join a Premier League club who will systematically beat these qualities out of him.
The other contenders are Ghana's Andre Ayew and Mexico's Giovani Dos Santos, both of whom would probably be voted MVP by their respective nations, but surely Mueller's got this one licked?
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 10/7/2010
SUPERSTITION, BEGINNERS LUCK, AND THE 2010 WORLD CUP
5-7-10
Being a football journalist is, most of the time, a brilliant job, I get to write about something I love, meet some of my sporting heros, ask interesting, and sometimes utterly random questions, and have a platform to air my views.
The downside is that it doesn't really stop. And when my team has lost and the last thing I want to do is think about football, chances are I will be writing a match report about it, or interviewing a player who will tell me they are 'gutted' but still think that they themselves played well...
And even if I'm not interviewing, I will be bombarded all day with news from the club.
Germany 4 England 1 was a microcosm of this.
There will also always be some fans who think I don't know what I'm talking about simply because in their view I lack the equipment (literally) to really understand the game.
Or that I picked this career as a way to get close to footballers to fulfil my long term ambition of becoming a WAG.
And while a footballer would no doubt be able to keep me in the designer shoes I plan to become accustomed to, the thought is not appealing. I'll buy my own, thanks.
My mum calls me a witch (affectionately I'm almost sure!) because I have a knack of picking the right option.
I don't look at the odds or study the form particularly, I simply make a choice, based on a feeling, and stick with it.
I'm not psychic or any of that nonsense, I just trust my instincts.
This backfires on occasion as I have beginners luck. I will generally win a new game the first time I play it, from poker to pool, as I'm not concentrating on the rules.
But as soon as someone tries to get me to 'do it properly' or 'learn' I will get worse and worse at it, why? who knows.
For me, practice rarely makes perfect.
I also have the tag of 'draw-devil' as whenever I support a team long term, they seem to have an unusual number of draws to their name by the end of the season, usually when I have been in attendance.
It could, and has been, argued, vehemently in some cases, that i'm a jinx.
I recently grumbled that I wanted 'more goals' while watching a futsal match, shortly before the opposing team banged in four in quick succession.
And I'm afraid I said "In that case I want Clint Dempsey to score" seconds before Rob Green's howler against the USA, as my friend had said he needed a USA goal for a bet. I know, I know.
I don't predict scores because my brother used to blame me for the outcome if I did, and because I'm superstitious.
But with general predictions for the World Cup, I'm on a roll.
Apart from England being a massive disappointment my predictions thus far have been:
One of the 'lesser' sides would get to the quarter finals - Ghana and Paraguay both count.
Uruguay would get through the group, Forlan would score an important goal, and the two time winners would get further than the bookies odds, or their world ranking, would suggest.
I didn't say they would be the last South American team left standing, but I did say they would get pretty far in the competition.
While we are on the subject, Uruguay deserve their place in the quarter-finals because they won the penalty shoot-out, and Asamoah Gyan missed in extra time.
Yes Suarez handled the ball, but he was sent off and Ghana got the penalty, 'justice' within the rules of the game was done. The fact that Gyan missed the penalty makes no difference I'm afraid.
And Ghana still could have won the penalty shoot-out, particularly as Suarez would have been certain to take a penalty had he still been on the pitch, meaning one Uruguay threat had already been removed.
Anything else is sentimental clap-trap due to Ghana being the last African side in the tournament.
And finally, I opined that if anybody had a real go at Argentina's defence, they would discover it was as flimsy as one of Capello's excuses.
Every other team who had played Argentina had, to a certain extent, marvelled at the spectacle of Messi and co, and did not get past the midfield.
But if you think of the Argentina attack as a parade of heavily armed security guards around a glass case containing the keys to their undoing, basically, they had left the back door open. The keys were not necessary if you could see past the big guns.
And Germany went straight in.
I also thought USA would be in the quarter finals by sheer bloody minded arrogant determination, and was therefore surprised when Donovan and co's puffed up chests visibly deflated as Ghana took them to extra time.
The other day, prior to the first quarter-final kicking off, I remarked to my boss that we could end up with an all European final, which he thought was almost inconceivable.
In case you can't count, or are even worse at geography than me, Spain, Holland and Germany are all European teams, meaning one of the finalists will be from Europe, and the chances of two of them battling it out on Sunday are high.
There is also a 50/50 chance of a first time winner, which, to my mind, would be exciting, as Spain and Holland have never lifted the trophy.
Germany are looking to make it a fourth triumph, thus overtaking Argentina and putting them one behind Brazil, while Uruguay are going for a long spread out treble, which would put them on an equal footing with Germany and Argentina.
I still want Uruguay to win, but I would not be disappointed for this young exciting Germany side to take the top prize.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 5/7/2010
The downside is that it doesn't really stop. And when my team has lost and the last thing I want to do is think about football, chances are I will be writing a match report about it, or interviewing a player who will tell me they are 'gutted' but still think that they themselves played well...
And even if I'm not interviewing, I will be bombarded all day with news from the club.
Germany 4 England 1 was a microcosm of this.
There will also always be some fans who think I don't know what I'm talking about simply because in their view I lack the equipment (literally) to really understand the game.
Or that I picked this career as a way to get close to footballers to fulfil my long term ambition of becoming a WAG.
And while a footballer would no doubt be able to keep me in the designer shoes I plan to become accustomed to, the thought is not appealing. I'll buy my own, thanks.
My mum calls me a witch (affectionately I'm almost sure!) because I have a knack of picking the right option.
I don't look at the odds or study the form particularly, I simply make a choice, based on a feeling, and stick with it.
I'm not psychic or any of that nonsense, I just trust my instincts.
This backfires on occasion as I have beginners luck. I will generally win a new game the first time I play it, from poker to pool, as I'm not concentrating on the rules.
But as soon as someone tries to get me to 'do it properly' or 'learn' I will get worse and worse at it, why? who knows.
For me, practice rarely makes perfect.
I also have the tag of 'draw-devil' as whenever I support a team long term, they seem to have an unusual number of draws to their name by the end of the season, usually when I have been in attendance.
It could, and has been, argued, vehemently in some cases, that i'm a jinx.
I recently grumbled that I wanted 'more goals' while watching a futsal match, shortly before the opposing team banged in four in quick succession.
And I'm afraid I said "In that case I want Clint Dempsey to score" seconds before Rob Green's howler against the USA, as my friend had said he needed a USA goal for a bet. I know, I know.
I don't predict scores because my brother used to blame me for the outcome if I did, and because I'm superstitious.
But with general predictions for the World Cup, I'm on a roll.
Apart from England being a massive disappointment my predictions thus far have been:
One of the 'lesser' sides would get to the quarter finals - Ghana and Paraguay both count.
Uruguay would get through the group, Forlan would score an important goal, and the two time winners would get further than the bookies odds, or their world ranking, would suggest.
I didn't say they would be the last South American team left standing, but I did say they would get pretty far in the competition.
While we are on the subject, Uruguay deserve their place in the quarter-finals because they won the penalty shoot-out, and Asamoah Gyan missed in extra time.
Yes Suarez handled the ball, but he was sent off and Ghana got the penalty, 'justice' within the rules of the game was done. The fact that Gyan missed the penalty makes no difference I'm afraid.
And Ghana still could have won the penalty shoot-out, particularly as Suarez would have been certain to take a penalty had he still been on the pitch, meaning one Uruguay threat had already been removed.
Anything else is sentimental clap-trap due to Ghana being the last African side in the tournament.
And finally, I opined that if anybody had a real go at Argentina's defence, they would discover it was as flimsy as one of Capello's excuses.
Every other team who had played Argentina had, to a certain extent, marvelled at the spectacle of Messi and co, and did not get past the midfield.
But if you think of the Argentina attack as a parade of heavily armed security guards around a glass case containing the keys to their undoing, basically, they had left the back door open. The keys were not necessary if you could see past the big guns.
And Germany went straight in.
I also thought USA would be in the quarter finals by sheer bloody minded arrogant determination, and was therefore surprised when Donovan and co's puffed up chests visibly deflated as Ghana took them to extra time.
The other day, prior to the first quarter-final kicking off, I remarked to my boss that we could end up with an all European final, which he thought was almost inconceivable.
In case you can't count, or are even worse at geography than me, Spain, Holland and Germany are all European teams, meaning one of the finalists will be from Europe, and the chances of two of them battling it out on Sunday are high.
There is also a 50/50 chance of a first time winner, which, to my mind, would be exciting, as Spain and Holland have never lifted the trophy.
Germany are looking to make it a fourth triumph, thus overtaking Argentina and putting them one behind Brazil, while Uruguay are going for a long spread out treble, which would put them on an equal footing with Germany and Argentina.
I still want Uruguay to win, but I would not be disappointed for this young exciting Germany side to take the top prize.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 5/7/2010
THE WORLD CUP QUARTER FINALISTS...
2-7-10
The England team have returned home, taken a look around and scarpered for far flung shores much faster than any of them moved on the pitch against USA, Algeria, Slovenia or Germany.
Not that I'm bitter.
Actually I'm not bitter, I'm over it, because the spectacle that is the 2010 World Cup goes on, or at least it does when the quarter finals kick off this afternoon after this two day break we've all enjoyed/endured.
There are some great teams battling for supremacy, and some 'lesser' sides, who could cause an upset.
The commentators would have you believe that there is 'a new world order' essentially because Paraguay reached a quarter final for the first time in their history.
But don't listen to them dear readers!
Of the eight quarter-finalists, four have won the World Cup at least once.
In fact Brazil have won it five times, Germany three times and Uruguay and Argentina twice each.
And just to show no favouritism, although for the record I'm supporting Uruguay, i'll go through the teams in alphabetical order.
Argentina - Described, presumably ironically, by Messi as 'the prettiest team' in an attempt to woo Cheryl soon to be Tweedy again, Argentina have been the most consistently good side in the competition.
Not only did they win Group B outright with a 100% record and a goal difference of six, they have more stars than a Richard Curtis movie and more talent than Britain or America!
Oh yeh and some guy called Maradona is the manager...
Brazil - Besides having three players who all look like Robinho (one of them is him, but when they are all singing the national anthem, or sat on the bench, its very hard to tell which!) Brazil have developed into a more balanced side. All the attacking flair is still there (though the goals were sadly lacking against Portugal) and they now look more organised, it could be an unbeatable formula, or they could stifle their own genius, sides like Holland will be hoping its the latter.
Germany - Young and hungry after winning the Under 21s World championships, Germany also have the experience of players such as Klose and Schweinsteiger backing up the flair and youthful exuberance of Ozil, Muller et al. They are very dangerous and could go all the way.
Ghana - The only African side left in the competition are something of a surprise package. They lack the star power of a player like the Ivory Coast's Drogba but have some very good players and an excellent team spirit. They play for each other and for African pride, it would be a mistake to underestimate them.
Also notable for having two John Mensahs.
And their goal celebrations are already legendary!
Holland - A team of players who promise a lot and tend to deliver only up until a point. But they look revitalised by the return of Arjen Robben and may have improved their form at precisely the right time in the competition. Brazil will be tricky today, but if Holland can beat them the boost they would get could take them to the final.
Paraguay - The lesser of the two 'guay' sides, Paraguay are sort of summed up by Manchester City striker Roque Santa Cruz, decent touches, won't lay down for bigger opposition and fairly easy on the eyes, but lacking in the kind of firepower which is necessary at this stage of a major competition.
Spain - If Carlsberg made football teams, they'd probably create something that looked an awful lot like the Spanish national side. Any team where Cesc Fabregas is a nice occasional option and which is picked from the best and brightest of Barcelona and Real Madrid are always going to be one hell of a line-up.
But all the talent has so far not really translated onto the pitch, with the exception of David Villa.
A bit like Holland, if they bring their A game, they should be unstoppable, but the original favourites to win the competition are in danger of disappointing.
Uruguay - My favourite team left in the competition have a quiet confidence rather than the silly bravado of teams like England. Twice winners, a long, long, time ago, they nonetheless have the knowledge that they beat Argentina and Brazil to win the World Cup before, and probably feel that they can do it again.
Billed as a one man team because of Diego Forlan's prolific scoring habit in European competitions, the goals actually come from Luis Suarez.
What Forlan does is pull the strings. He is the heart of the team and the architect of much of their play.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 2/7/2010
Not that I'm bitter.
Actually I'm not bitter, I'm over it, because the spectacle that is the 2010 World Cup goes on, or at least it does when the quarter finals kick off this afternoon after this two day break we've all enjoyed/endured.
There are some great teams battling for supremacy, and some 'lesser' sides, who could cause an upset.
The commentators would have you believe that there is 'a new world order' essentially because Paraguay reached a quarter final for the first time in their history.
But don't listen to them dear readers!
Of the eight quarter-finalists, four have won the World Cup at least once.
In fact Brazil have won it five times, Germany three times and Uruguay and Argentina twice each.
And just to show no favouritism, although for the record I'm supporting Uruguay, i'll go through the teams in alphabetical order.
Argentina - Described, presumably ironically, by Messi as 'the prettiest team' in an attempt to woo Cheryl soon to be Tweedy again, Argentina have been the most consistently good side in the competition.
Not only did they win Group B outright with a 100% record and a goal difference of six, they have more stars than a Richard Curtis movie and more talent than Britain or America!
Oh yeh and some guy called Maradona is the manager...
Brazil - Besides having three players who all look like Robinho (one of them is him, but when they are all singing the national anthem, or sat on the bench, its very hard to tell which!) Brazil have developed into a more balanced side. All the attacking flair is still there (though the goals were sadly lacking against Portugal) and they now look more organised, it could be an unbeatable formula, or they could stifle their own genius, sides like Holland will be hoping its the latter.
Germany - Young and hungry after winning the Under 21s World championships, Germany also have the experience of players such as Klose and Schweinsteiger backing up the flair and youthful exuberance of Ozil, Muller et al. They are very dangerous and could go all the way.
Ghana - The only African side left in the competition are something of a surprise package. They lack the star power of a player like the Ivory Coast's Drogba but have some very good players and an excellent team spirit. They play for each other and for African pride, it would be a mistake to underestimate them.
Also notable for having two John Mensahs.
And their goal celebrations are already legendary!
Holland - A team of players who promise a lot and tend to deliver only up until a point. But they look revitalised by the return of Arjen Robben and may have improved their form at precisely the right time in the competition. Brazil will be tricky today, but if Holland can beat them the boost they would get could take them to the final.
Paraguay - The lesser of the two 'guay' sides, Paraguay are sort of summed up by Manchester City striker Roque Santa Cruz, decent touches, won't lay down for bigger opposition and fairly easy on the eyes, but lacking in the kind of firepower which is necessary at this stage of a major competition.
Spain - If Carlsberg made football teams, they'd probably create something that looked an awful lot like the Spanish national side. Any team where Cesc Fabregas is a nice occasional option and which is picked from the best and brightest of Barcelona and Real Madrid are always going to be one hell of a line-up.
But all the talent has so far not really translated onto the pitch, with the exception of David Villa.
A bit like Holland, if they bring their A game, they should be unstoppable, but the original favourites to win the competition are in danger of disappointing.
Uruguay - My favourite team left in the competition have a quiet confidence rather than the silly bravado of teams like England. Twice winners, a long, long, time ago, they nonetheless have the knowledge that they beat Argentina and Brazil to win the World Cup before, and probably feel that they can do it again.
Billed as a one man team because of Diego Forlan's prolific scoring habit in European competitions, the goals actually come from Luis Suarez.
What Forlan does is pull the strings. He is the heart of the team and the architect of much of their play.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 2/7/2010
GERMANY 4 ENGLAND 1 - THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN... 28-6-10
I hate being right when I've been negative. It throws my sunny disposition completely out of sorts.
And right now I am as far from 'sunny' as Matthew Upson is from being a world class defender.
Firstly, those who have been reading my columns will know that I was not confident we would beat Germany, and further back I was wavering on whether we would even get out of the group.
Why? What makes a normally optimistic football fan have such low expectations?
Where do I start?
I wasn't convinced by Capello, the tactics, the players or the performances.
I thought the attitude was wrong, the preparation and organisation poor and the inability to take a risk was dangerous.
Like I said, I hate being right.
But I'm not an international manager. I'm a sports journalist and a Boro fan.
And yet, I could see how it was playing out. So why couldn't Capello?
I'm not really an England fan because I find it hard to support a team who rarely look like they care. Also, the current team is such a bunch of unlikeable arrogant underachievers that cheering them on feels hypocritical.
But I still care. My mood last night and this morning is a testament to that.
There are a couple of exceptions.
I have always been a big fan of Joe Cole, I think he is a special player in a sea of mediocrity in the English game.
And Peter Crouch seems like a good guy who is underused when he could be most effective.
I'm also going to use this opportunity to say that yesterday was probably the only time I have ever, or will ever, feel sorry for David James.
I made no secret of the fact that I thought our goalkeepers, as a nation, are weak. And that of the three I would have started with Joe Hart, brought James for his experience and not even have thought of Robert Green.
If you concede four goals in a match you usually look at the goalkeeper.
Goalkeepers are supposed to be vocal, organise their defences and be impenetrable. But James tried to do the first two. He was screaming, usually the clear and reasonable questions of "What the f**k are you doing?" and "Where the f**k are you?"
And his defence, ironically as a unit, completely abandoned him. They hung him out to dry.
I'm not sure some of these players are capable of being ashamed of themselves, but, as James might say, they f**king should be!
There were so many ways I could have approached this column, because I have a hell of a lot to say, but to avoid an unstructured rant, fun as they are, I've settled on a 'That's what happens when' format. So here goes.
That's what happens when:
1. You choose full-backs on the basis that they are 'good going forward'.
Glen Johnson was positively skipping out of the way of Klose in yesterday's utter humilation. Ashley Cole was in Germany's box doing nothing while they were scoring in ours, possibly channelling Wayne Bridge.
2. You continue to play Matthew Upson.
Yes he got to start against Germany because he was part of the team who narrowly beat Slovenia.
But scoring a goal with some part of your face does not make up for almost single-handedly conceding two, He. Should. Have. Been. Subbed.
3. You take Matthew Upson in the first place.
I'm not blaming him, because I've never heard of a player being called up and saying 'no mate I had a shocking season and I'm just not good enough' but there's always a first time and maybe that's exactly what he should have said.
4. You pin all your hopes on Gareth Barry.
Another common theme in my columns, what the hell was all that about? he's been nonexistent for Manchester City all season, he's lazy, not fully fit and slow.
5. Wayne Rooney decides he's played enough football and would rather shout at the fans for not giving him the usual level of adoration, instead of earning it.
6. You leave Adam Johnson at home.
Yes I'm biased, but it doesn't make me wrong. The Germany team that beat us did so with a mixture of youth and experience, we left the 'youth' who is currently the country's best young player at home.
7. You put Fabio Capello in charge.
Not 'an Italian' because I don't think 'being foreign' is any excuse. I think if you have the most important job in football you do everything you can to be successful at it. Learning how to talk to your players should have been a no-brainer.
8. You don't have David Beckham.
I know he's injured so he couldn't play, but we missed him on the pitch, even while he was looking worried, in a GQ sort of way, in the dugout.
9. You mistake an improvement from 'dismal' to 'mediocre' as England being back to their best, whatever that is these days.
10. The players have no heart and the boss has no clue.
I hate to say this because I think it is a phrase fans overuse about players they have never met, but when Lampard's goal was disallowed, if only out of professional pride, he should have thought "right, sod that, I'll score two!" But no, 'Lamps' tried for about ten minutes, hit the crossbar and decided it wasn't his day and gave up.
Rooney just didn't turn up for the tournament at all.
Terry and Upson may as well not have done, and Cole and Johnson forgot the 'back' part of 'attacking full-backs'. Again.
Peter Crouch and Joe Cole, the only two players who looked 'good' in spells were woefully underused. As, to a lesser extent, was Jermain Defoe.
Michaels Carrick and Dawson, and Stephen Warnock should have been allowed to go on holiday.
That goes double for Joe Hart.
Aaron Lennon left us in no doubt that he is not the player he was before his long injury spell, James Milner showed he is not yet England class, if he ever will be, and Rob Green made sure we'd remember him for all the wrong reasons.
Oh yes, and Shaun Wright-Phillips took the opportunity to show exactly why he's Adam Johnson's sub at City.
Well done one and all.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 28/6/2010
And right now I am as far from 'sunny' as Matthew Upson is from being a world class defender.
Firstly, those who have been reading my columns will know that I was not confident we would beat Germany, and further back I was wavering on whether we would even get out of the group.
Why? What makes a normally optimistic football fan have such low expectations?
Where do I start?
I wasn't convinced by Capello, the tactics, the players or the performances.
I thought the attitude was wrong, the preparation and organisation poor and the inability to take a risk was dangerous.
Like I said, I hate being right.
But I'm not an international manager. I'm a sports journalist and a Boro fan.
And yet, I could see how it was playing out. So why couldn't Capello?
I'm not really an England fan because I find it hard to support a team who rarely look like they care. Also, the current team is such a bunch of unlikeable arrogant underachievers that cheering them on feels hypocritical.
But I still care. My mood last night and this morning is a testament to that.
There are a couple of exceptions.
I have always been a big fan of Joe Cole, I think he is a special player in a sea of mediocrity in the English game.
And Peter Crouch seems like a good guy who is underused when he could be most effective.
I'm also going to use this opportunity to say that yesterday was probably the only time I have ever, or will ever, feel sorry for David James.
I made no secret of the fact that I thought our goalkeepers, as a nation, are weak. And that of the three I would have started with Joe Hart, brought James for his experience and not even have thought of Robert Green.
If you concede four goals in a match you usually look at the goalkeeper.
Goalkeepers are supposed to be vocal, organise their defences and be impenetrable. But James tried to do the first two. He was screaming, usually the clear and reasonable questions of "What the f**k are you doing?" and "Where the f**k are you?"
And his defence, ironically as a unit, completely abandoned him. They hung him out to dry.
I'm not sure some of these players are capable of being ashamed of themselves, but, as James might say, they f**king should be!
There were so many ways I could have approached this column, because I have a hell of a lot to say, but to avoid an unstructured rant, fun as they are, I've settled on a 'That's what happens when' format. So here goes.
That's what happens when:
1. You choose full-backs on the basis that they are 'good going forward'.
Glen Johnson was positively skipping out of the way of Klose in yesterday's utter humilation. Ashley Cole was in Germany's box doing nothing while they were scoring in ours, possibly channelling Wayne Bridge.
2. You continue to play Matthew Upson.
Yes he got to start against Germany because he was part of the team who narrowly beat Slovenia.
But scoring a goal with some part of your face does not make up for almost single-handedly conceding two, He. Should. Have. Been. Subbed.
3. You take Matthew Upson in the first place.
I'm not blaming him, because I've never heard of a player being called up and saying 'no mate I had a shocking season and I'm just not good enough' but there's always a first time and maybe that's exactly what he should have said.
4. You pin all your hopes on Gareth Barry.
Another common theme in my columns, what the hell was all that about? he's been nonexistent for Manchester City all season, he's lazy, not fully fit and slow.
5. Wayne Rooney decides he's played enough football and would rather shout at the fans for not giving him the usual level of adoration, instead of earning it.
6. You leave Adam Johnson at home.
Yes I'm biased, but it doesn't make me wrong. The Germany team that beat us did so with a mixture of youth and experience, we left the 'youth' who is currently the country's best young player at home.
7. You put Fabio Capello in charge.
Not 'an Italian' because I don't think 'being foreign' is any excuse. I think if you have the most important job in football you do everything you can to be successful at it. Learning how to talk to your players should have been a no-brainer.
8. You don't have David Beckham.
I know he's injured so he couldn't play, but we missed him on the pitch, even while he was looking worried, in a GQ sort of way, in the dugout.
9. You mistake an improvement from 'dismal' to 'mediocre' as England being back to their best, whatever that is these days.
10. The players have no heart and the boss has no clue.
I hate to say this because I think it is a phrase fans overuse about players they have never met, but when Lampard's goal was disallowed, if only out of professional pride, he should have thought "right, sod that, I'll score two!" But no, 'Lamps' tried for about ten minutes, hit the crossbar and decided it wasn't his day and gave up.
Rooney just didn't turn up for the tournament at all.
Terry and Upson may as well not have done, and Cole and Johnson forgot the 'back' part of 'attacking full-backs'. Again.
Peter Crouch and Joe Cole, the only two players who looked 'good' in spells were woefully underused. As, to a lesser extent, was Jermain Defoe.
Michaels Carrick and Dawson, and Stephen Warnock should have been allowed to go on holiday.
That goes double for Joe Hart.
Aaron Lennon left us in no doubt that he is not the player he was before his long injury spell, James Milner showed he is not yet England class, if he ever will be, and Rob Green made sure we'd remember him for all the wrong reasons.
Oh yes, and Shaun Wright-Phillips took the opportunity to show exactly why he's Adam Johnson's sub at City.
Well done one and all.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 28/6/2010
"BEFORE ZEE GERMANS GET THERE!" 26-6-10
Apart from using any excuse to quote Guy Ritchie's best film, Snatch - you can argue with me, but you will be wrong! - the title refers to the preparation England have suddenly deemed necessary ahead of Sunday's match.
Actually behaving like a team, talking sense instead of moaning and practising penalties are all examples of unfamiliar behaviour the England team have indulged in since we squeaked past Slovenia and, as a nation, resumed our crowing about winning the World Cup.
I don't think we will win the World Cup, and I'm not certain we will get past Germany.
If that makes me unpatriotic then so be it.
We all know the history (I mean on the pitch, not the World Wars) between these two opponents, and I may not have been there when we beat them 5-1 but I vividly remember watching it at home (and I do literally have the t-shirt).
In the grand tradition of football previews, I'll remind you that the last time we played Germany was in a friendly in 2008, when Stewart Downing put in a virtuoso display and we won 2-1.
But while we consider Germany to be one of our greatest nemesis, Germany really aren't too bothered about us.
Sorry but its true, If we consider them to be a great obstacle, they see us more of fly buzzing around making a nuisance of ourselves, while still being largely insignificant.
"Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent..." You know the rest.
Yet German God Franz Beckenbauer has taken the time to stir it up by claiming England are 'stupid' not to have topped their group.
Erm yes, anyone arguing?
This Germany are beatable though, illustrated by the fact that Serbia managed it. And make no mistake Serbia were poor. However this was a Germany who had run themselves into the group hammering Australia in the opener, and they were a man down after the highly dubious sending off of Klose.
Klose will be back to face England, and Ozil, Muller, Boateng et al will be in attendance.
Schweinsteiger on the other hand is an injury doubt. But then, so is Wayne Rooney.
The Australia match was less a display of German efficiency, more an exhibition in German youth exuberance.
In what was a yawnfest of opening matches in every other group, Germany alone went all guns blazing right out of the traps. And I liked them for it.
Fair enough Michael Ballack was ruled out by injury, and most of the Germany 2006 squad were ruled out by old age! but Joachim Low has brought together a young attacking side which is by turns fresh and exciting, and inexperienced and vulnerable.
Having said that from a neutral perspective they showed their naivety and lost to a Serbian side who they really should have beaten, even taking into account that they were a man down.
My mum told me she was going to throw me out when I said I liked this Germany side, but she won't because, aside from being generally lovely, I look after the cat when she's away.
The cat is named 'Ali' after French Boro striker Jeremie Aliadiere, and I swear she's been depressed since France got knocked out out of the competition!
But I digress.
Germany have done what I would have prefered to see a bit of from Capello, taken a risk, brought through some young talent, maybe slightly too early, because the only way you get experience in a World Cup is to play in a World Cup!
They have taken a risk, and it may not pay off, but even if Germany join France and Italy in going out early, the players will be better for the experience and a good bet for 2014.
If we go out against Germany, it is us who will be joining Italy and France on the scrapheap and despite Joe Cole's insistence that he might have another tournament left in him, most of these players will not get another chance.
And I'll go and watch Snatch again.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 26/6/2010
Actually behaving like a team, talking sense instead of moaning and practising penalties are all examples of unfamiliar behaviour the England team have indulged in since we squeaked past Slovenia and, as a nation, resumed our crowing about winning the World Cup.
I don't think we will win the World Cup, and I'm not certain we will get past Germany.
If that makes me unpatriotic then so be it.
We all know the history (I mean on the pitch, not the World Wars) between these two opponents, and I may not have been there when we beat them 5-1 but I vividly remember watching it at home (and I do literally have the t-shirt).
In the grand tradition of football previews, I'll remind you that the last time we played Germany was in a friendly in 2008, when Stewart Downing put in a virtuoso display and we won 2-1.
But while we consider Germany to be one of our greatest nemesis, Germany really aren't too bothered about us.
Sorry but its true, If we consider them to be a great obstacle, they see us more of fly buzzing around making a nuisance of ourselves, while still being largely insignificant.
"Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent..." You know the rest.
Yet German God Franz Beckenbauer has taken the time to stir it up by claiming England are 'stupid' not to have topped their group.
Erm yes, anyone arguing?
This Germany are beatable though, illustrated by the fact that Serbia managed it. And make no mistake Serbia were poor. However this was a Germany who had run themselves into the group hammering Australia in the opener, and they were a man down after the highly dubious sending off of Klose.
Klose will be back to face England, and Ozil, Muller, Boateng et al will be in attendance.
Schweinsteiger on the other hand is an injury doubt. But then, so is Wayne Rooney.
The Australia match was less a display of German efficiency, more an exhibition in German youth exuberance.
In what was a yawnfest of opening matches in every other group, Germany alone went all guns blazing right out of the traps. And I liked them for it.
Fair enough Michael Ballack was ruled out by injury, and most of the Germany 2006 squad were ruled out by old age! but Joachim Low has brought together a young attacking side which is by turns fresh and exciting, and inexperienced and vulnerable.
Having said that from a neutral perspective they showed their naivety and lost to a Serbian side who they really should have beaten, even taking into account that they were a man down.
My mum told me she was going to throw me out when I said I liked this Germany side, but she won't because, aside from being generally lovely, I look after the cat when she's away.
The cat is named 'Ali' after French Boro striker Jeremie Aliadiere, and I swear she's been depressed since France got knocked out out of the competition!
But I digress.
Germany have done what I would have prefered to see a bit of from Capello, taken a risk, brought through some young talent, maybe slightly too early, because the only way you get experience in a World Cup is to play in a World Cup!
They have taken a risk, and it may not pay off, but even if Germany join France and Italy in going out early, the players will be better for the experience and a good bet for 2014.
If we go out against Germany, it is us who will be joining Italy and France on the scrapheap and despite Joe Cole's insistence that he might have another tournament left in him, most of these players will not get another chance.
And I'll go and watch Snatch again.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 26/6/2010
MUTINY AGAINST THE MANAGERS? - AT LEAST WE AREN'T FRENCH!
21-6-10
Every time something goes wrong in the England camp, you can bet that an 'expert' will tell you that a manager has never won the World Cup with a team of a different nation.
Fabio Capello is not going to be the first.
But is not like Capello's the only one, the Ghana manager is Serbian, the Australian manager is Dutch, and the Ivory Coast coach is Sven Goran Eriksson!
The France manager is French, but most of the country would rather he wasn't!
Back in England, Adam Johnson and Theo Walcott must be furious. Or, incredibly depressed that this bunch of (insert expletive of your choice here) were chosen ahead of them.
During the second half of what I refuse to call 'a match', I was idly wondering if Beckham would make a good manager. And with all due respect to 'Becks', when you think an Ex England player who spends most of his time posing in his Calvins should be running your national team, your know you're in trouble!
But at least he was swearing and gesturing, at least there was passion.
Capello looks lost. But still stubborn.
Occasionally you see this in men of 'power'. Tony Blair had the same expression for at least the last year of his tenure as PM.
It says "I know i've really buggered it up, but ive buried my head so far in the sand that I literally can't even remember why I thought I was right in the first place. And now i'm about to suffocate."
Not that all the blame is Capello's.
I do think he has 'lost the dressing room' - stupid phrase, it's not like the players paint over the sign and sit quietly relishing the confusion which ensues.
Although, given recent results that may not be such a bad idea! And perhaps it would be a team bonding activity.
I also think he is not-so slowly-unravelling. But I thought that since the bizarre business with the 'Capello Index'. Obviously I don't know the guy, but it seemed so out of character. Worringly so.
Anyone who has read my columns regarding the England selections knows how I felt about his choice of players.
Call me naive, but I don't understand how you can come in to a job where you are getting paid more than your predecessors, bring no new ideas, bring back players who are past it, leave out potential match winners, seemingly because they have never been included before, make no tactical changes, only allow like for like substitutions and think that you are doing your job.
It's like he thinks he can't be blamed if he follows an old blueprint, even if it is so obviously not working.
If it's not broke don't fix it. But it is broken, and so are the players.
Which brings me onto the footballers. Allegedly.
Press are speculating that the players are scared of Capello, and won't stand up to him.
But these are without exception some of the most arrogant men on the planet. This one and any other that exists.
John Terry and Frank Lampard stayed at Chelsea only after their already exorbitant wages were doubled. Ashley Cole is, well, Ashley Cole, and Rooney is a man-child so conceited that having put in one of the worst displays anyone has ever had the misfortune to witness from a England player, he shouted at the fans for not adoring him.
My point is that I don't buy it.
Unless Capello literally flogs them if they stray from his rigid unworkable 4-4-2 then they have no excuse.
They are the ones on the pitch and they are the ones who can raise their game, encourage each other, or at the very least stop playing like Barrow's B team on a bad day. When six of them have food poisoning, and two have broken legs.
Apologies to Barrow.
The England v Algeria match was horribly reminiscent of watching Boro v Cardiff. Boro fans will need no further explanation of this, for the rest of the readers, it was just like Algeria, only without Wayne Rooney's mouth.
There. Was. Nothing. There.
Algeria probably can't work out how they didn't win, as England did sweet FA to stop them.
We can take some consolation in the fact that Patrick Veira still thinks the French are worse, but really dear readers, this is as bad as it gets.
And when things are this bad, schadenfreude is essential.
We have to thank the French for creating one of the biggest cock-ups in World Cup history. And inevitably, John Terry's gotten himself mixed up in it - more on that later.
It was obvious from France's dispirited 'display' against Uruguay that they were struggling behind the scenes.
Stories of underage prostitutes and a general hatred of the manager are not the best ways to start a World cup qualifying campaign.
National disgrace due to cheating isn't an ideal final stage either.
But it is not Henry that's the problem. He just sits there looking like he ran over his own puppy.
It's Evra, Domenech, Gallas and Monsieur Anelka that are causing all the trouble.
The former is sulking that noone wants him to be captain, Gallas is furious that he isn't captain. which brings us to Anelka.
Nicolas Anelka was several steps ahead of me when he allegedly suggested that Domenech go occupy himself elsewhere, and cast aspertions as to Domenech's mother's profession/morality...
The Chelsea man has been sent home, not really for what he said, more because of he had no intention of apologising for it. He has since retired from the national side. But then, it hardly matters as his team mates will probably be joining in him in less than a week.
And who did the media appoint as Anelka's character witness? John Terry. Yes, really.
I mean come on, yes they are Chelsea team mates, but we all know exactly how much stock Terry puts in someone being his team mate! And having Terry stand up for anybody's moral character is patently ridiculous.
In all likelihood, both the French and the English are on their way home. We'll all become 'British' again in order to support Andy Murray at Wimbledon.
And the French will sit on balconys dipping croissants into black coffee, or something.
It could be because we are European. Or, it could be because our football teams are a disgrace to our nations.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 21/6/2010
Fabio Capello is not going to be the first.
But is not like Capello's the only one, the Ghana manager is Serbian, the Australian manager is Dutch, and the Ivory Coast coach is Sven Goran Eriksson!
The France manager is French, but most of the country would rather he wasn't!
Back in England, Adam Johnson and Theo Walcott must be furious. Or, incredibly depressed that this bunch of (insert expletive of your choice here) were chosen ahead of them.
During the second half of what I refuse to call 'a match', I was idly wondering if Beckham would make a good manager. And with all due respect to 'Becks', when you think an Ex England player who spends most of his time posing in his Calvins should be running your national team, your know you're in trouble!
But at least he was swearing and gesturing, at least there was passion.
Capello looks lost. But still stubborn.
Occasionally you see this in men of 'power'. Tony Blair had the same expression for at least the last year of his tenure as PM.
It says "I know i've really buggered it up, but ive buried my head so far in the sand that I literally can't even remember why I thought I was right in the first place. And now i'm about to suffocate."
Not that all the blame is Capello's.
I do think he has 'lost the dressing room' - stupid phrase, it's not like the players paint over the sign and sit quietly relishing the confusion which ensues.
Although, given recent results that may not be such a bad idea! And perhaps it would be a team bonding activity.
I also think he is not-so slowly-unravelling. But I thought that since the bizarre business with the 'Capello Index'. Obviously I don't know the guy, but it seemed so out of character. Worringly so.
Anyone who has read my columns regarding the England selections knows how I felt about his choice of players.
Call me naive, but I don't understand how you can come in to a job where you are getting paid more than your predecessors, bring no new ideas, bring back players who are past it, leave out potential match winners, seemingly because they have never been included before, make no tactical changes, only allow like for like substitutions and think that you are doing your job.
It's like he thinks he can't be blamed if he follows an old blueprint, even if it is so obviously not working.
If it's not broke don't fix it. But it is broken, and so are the players.
Which brings me onto the footballers. Allegedly.
Press are speculating that the players are scared of Capello, and won't stand up to him.
But these are without exception some of the most arrogant men on the planet. This one and any other that exists.
John Terry and Frank Lampard stayed at Chelsea only after their already exorbitant wages were doubled. Ashley Cole is, well, Ashley Cole, and Rooney is a man-child so conceited that having put in one of the worst displays anyone has ever had the misfortune to witness from a England player, he shouted at the fans for not adoring him.
My point is that I don't buy it.
Unless Capello literally flogs them if they stray from his rigid unworkable 4-4-2 then they have no excuse.
They are the ones on the pitch and they are the ones who can raise their game, encourage each other, or at the very least stop playing like Barrow's B team on a bad day. When six of them have food poisoning, and two have broken legs.
Apologies to Barrow.
The England v Algeria match was horribly reminiscent of watching Boro v Cardiff. Boro fans will need no further explanation of this, for the rest of the readers, it was just like Algeria, only without Wayne Rooney's mouth.
There. Was. Nothing. There.
Algeria probably can't work out how they didn't win, as England did sweet FA to stop them.
We can take some consolation in the fact that Patrick Veira still thinks the French are worse, but really dear readers, this is as bad as it gets.
And when things are this bad, schadenfreude is essential.
We have to thank the French for creating one of the biggest cock-ups in World Cup history. And inevitably, John Terry's gotten himself mixed up in it - more on that later.
It was obvious from France's dispirited 'display' against Uruguay that they were struggling behind the scenes.
Stories of underage prostitutes and a general hatred of the manager are not the best ways to start a World cup qualifying campaign.
National disgrace due to cheating isn't an ideal final stage either.
But it is not Henry that's the problem. He just sits there looking like he ran over his own puppy.
It's Evra, Domenech, Gallas and Monsieur Anelka that are causing all the trouble.
The former is sulking that noone wants him to be captain, Gallas is furious that he isn't captain. which brings us to Anelka.
Nicolas Anelka was several steps ahead of me when he allegedly suggested that Domenech go occupy himself elsewhere, and cast aspertions as to Domenech's mother's profession/morality...
The Chelsea man has been sent home, not really for what he said, more because of he had no intention of apologising for it. He has since retired from the national side. But then, it hardly matters as his team mates will probably be joining in him in less than a week.
And who did the media appoint as Anelka's character witness? John Terry. Yes, really.
I mean come on, yes they are Chelsea team mates, but we all know exactly how much stock Terry puts in someone being his team mate! And having Terry stand up for anybody's moral character is patently ridiculous.
In all likelihood, both the French and the English are on their way home. We'll all become 'British' again in order to support Andy Murray at Wimbledon.
And the French will sit on balconys dipping croissants into black coffee, or something.
It could be because we are European. Or, it could be because our football teams are a disgrace to our nations.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 21/6/2010
THE RULES FOR PICKING YOUR 'SECOND TEAM'
19-6-10
As much as it pains me to say it, England's chances of reaching the knockout stages are looking slimmer than Abbey Clancy recently - Note to Crouch's missus - if you lose your boobs you lose the lucrative lingere contracts!
And with this in mind it may be time to choose the next team you are going to follow once you rise from the drunken stupor that England's 'lions' have sunk you into.
1. It is perfectly fine to follow South Africa just because they are the host nation. But it's not very inventive.
2. A sneaking suspicion that your great aunt's father's uncle's cousin was Mexican means that you can wear that Sombrero with pride amigo! after all, if it's good enough for the players...
Which brings us nicely on to rule 3. a reversal of Fight Club's sixth rule,"No shirt, No shoes"
If you are going to support another team, don't do it half heartedly - track down their strip on the Internet, knit yourself a scarf whatever, wear their colours with pride!
4. Pledging allegiance to the team you got in a random sweepstake is also a good option - New Zealand aren't looking so bad now are they?!
5. If you have no affinity to another country, try and find a player you like and simply support them, and therefore their nation.
6. But be warned, supporting the French means that you are never again allowed to speak to an Irish person, you are dead to them.
And finally, 7. If you wait, and pick a Group winner, simply because they have topped a group, you are a glory supporter and will be treated accordingly.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 19/6/2010
And with this in mind it may be time to choose the next team you are going to follow once you rise from the drunken stupor that England's 'lions' have sunk you into.
1. It is perfectly fine to follow South Africa just because they are the host nation. But it's not very inventive.
2. A sneaking suspicion that your great aunt's father's uncle's cousin was Mexican means that you can wear that Sombrero with pride amigo! after all, if it's good enough for the players...
Which brings us nicely on to rule 3. a reversal of Fight Club's sixth rule,"No shirt, No shoes"
If you are going to support another team, don't do it half heartedly - track down their strip on the Internet, knit yourself a scarf whatever, wear their colours with pride!
4. Pledging allegiance to the team you got in a random sweepstake is also a good option - New Zealand aren't looking so bad now are they?!
5. If you have no affinity to another country, try and find a player you like and simply support them, and therefore their nation.
6. But be warned, supporting the French means that you are never again allowed to speak to an Irish person, you are dead to them.
And finally, 7. If you wait, and pick a Group winner, simply because they have topped a group, you are a glory supporter and will be treated accordingly.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 19/6/2010
INSIDE THE ENGLAND HOTEL 18-6-10
Gary Lineker and co on BBC were speculating as to what the England players would be doing while the USA were drawing against Slovenia.
Or is 2-2 a win in Good Old US of A too?
Anyway, they came up with 'watching the match' and 'eating'.
So, being me, I thought i'd take that thought one step further, and use some creative licence.
First up, as everyone else seems to have forgotten all about his existence, its Michael Dawson!
'Daws' as he is affectionately known by his Spurs team mates (imaginative lot footballers aren't they?!) is probably banging his head against a brick wall having heard that now that Ledley King is injured (big surprise!) Capello has Jamie Carragher and Matthew Upson to choose from.
Carragher is working on his next autobiography, entitled "I take it all back, Liverpool are crap and I love England!"
Upson and Heskey are sacrificing something, possibly Theo Walcott, to whichever dark God they made a deal with to be included in the inital 30, let alone get on the bloody plane!
John Terry.. well nobody's seen John for few hours, after he muttered something about 'checking out the local scenery'...
Jermain Defoe and Peter Crouch figured they wouldn't be needed and have actually left the country. They listened to the advice about only keeping small amounts of money on their personage and are now busking in a little and large act somewhere.
Wayne Rooney is either tucked up in bed sucking his thumb, or fighting the lion he 'borrowed' from the safari because 'Stevie G' thought it would be a laugh.
Gerrard is staying the hell out of Rooney's room, and yelling in Scouse occasionally about 'getting rid Wazza!"
Gareth Barry is very quiet and wondering if this would be a good time to mention that he has a very specific phobia of the Jabulani Ball.
Shaun Wright Philips and Aaron Lennon are playing tag, but on opposite sides of the room and can't work out why nobody has won in a while.
James Milner is being nursed back to health by new dad Joe Cole, who for some reason keeps asking him if he wants his bottle yet?
Ashley Cole disappeared to the bathroom with his phone at precisely 3pm, saying he had 'an important call to make'.
Glen Johnson is re-reading every newspaper which gave him man of the match v USA, and hiding them from Frank Lampard...
Rob Green has been given lines as punishment for Saturday and is frantically trying not to drop his pen.
David James is hard at work on a painting entitled 'all at sea' featuring a green circle which appears to be sinking.
Joe Hart is juggling vuvuzelas.
And Capello? Well he's Italian, he's probably eating pasta and praying, simultaneously.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 18/6/2010
Or is 2-2 a win in Good Old US of A too?
Anyway, they came up with 'watching the match' and 'eating'.
So, being me, I thought i'd take that thought one step further, and use some creative licence.
First up, as everyone else seems to have forgotten all about his existence, its Michael Dawson!
'Daws' as he is affectionately known by his Spurs team mates (imaginative lot footballers aren't they?!) is probably banging his head against a brick wall having heard that now that Ledley King is injured (big surprise!) Capello has Jamie Carragher and Matthew Upson to choose from.
Carragher is working on his next autobiography, entitled "I take it all back, Liverpool are crap and I love England!"
Upson and Heskey are sacrificing something, possibly Theo Walcott, to whichever dark God they made a deal with to be included in the inital 30, let alone get on the bloody plane!
John Terry.. well nobody's seen John for few hours, after he muttered something about 'checking out the local scenery'...
Jermain Defoe and Peter Crouch figured they wouldn't be needed and have actually left the country. They listened to the advice about only keeping small amounts of money on their personage and are now busking in a little and large act somewhere.
Wayne Rooney is either tucked up in bed sucking his thumb, or fighting the lion he 'borrowed' from the safari because 'Stevie G' thought it would be a laugh.
Gerrard is staying the hell out of Rooney's room, and yelling in Scouse occasionally about 'getting rid Wazza!"
Gareth Barry is very quiet and wondering if this would be a good time to mention that he has a very specific phobia of the Jabulani Ball.
Shaun Wright Philips and Aaron Lennon are playing tag, but on opposite sides of the room and can't work out why nobody has won in a while.
James Milner is being nursed back to health by new dad Joe Cole, who for some reason keeps asking him if he wants his bottle yet?
Ashley Cole disappeared to the bathroom with his phone at precisely 3pm, saying he had 'an important call to make'.
Glen Johnson is re-reading every newspaper which gave him man of the match v USA, and hiding them from Frank Lampard...
Rob Green has been given lines as punishment for Saturday and is frantically trying not to drop his pen.
David James is hard at work on a painting entitled 'all at sea' featuring a green circle which appears to be sinking.
Joe Hart is juggling vuvuzelas.
And Capello? Well he's Italian, he's probably eating pasta and praying, simultaneously.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 18/6/2010
WORLD CUP 2010 -
THE SOUTH AMERICAN FLAVOUR 18-6-10
We have finally made it through the first round of Group games and the second selection are coming thick and fast. Germany v Serbia is about to kick off as I write this.
The Germans have a reputation for dull but efficient football, grinding out results in the early stages but somehow beating almost everybody.
But not this Germany.
The 2010 Germany squad is who are a real team of talented youngsters revelling in the freedom they have been given with the removal of Ballack.
With an average of approximately 24, this Germany team has all the confidence of youth and features a number of players hoping to be playing in the Premier League next season.
The World Cup is one hell of a shop window!
Having destroyed Australia in their opening fixture, Germany will only gather momentum and should easily top Group D.
But aside from Germany, it is the South American teams which have caught my eye.
Diego Maradona's Argentina could not quite impose their full weight against Nigeria, despite the 1-0 win, but everything came to fruition against the unfortunate South Korea who were beaten 4-1 largely by a Higuain hat-trick.
Messi has not yet got himself on the scoresheet, but has showed flashes of brilliance, and is not in fact needed, such is the quality that surrounds him.
Argentina probably cannot be matched as an attacking force, but their defence looks dangerously vulnerable at times.
Uruguay are my second team in this tournament. Having spent some time with players from a Uruguayan futsal team, I feel a certain affinity for the nation and support the team, whenever it does not affect England, despite not yet visiting the country.
Diego Forlan is an exceptional player and now that he is off the mark, could very well fire Uruguay in the final stages of the competition.
The two time winners have waited even longer than England to taste World Cup success again, and while I'm not backing them to make it three, I do think they will be in the mix.
Brazil were only really at half speed and were shocked into something approaching submission for 45 minutes by North Korea.
However, you wouldn't want to be the Ivory Coast on Sunday.
But it is Mexico and Chile which interest me the most.
When England played Mexico in that first friendly after Capello named his initial 30, I really liked the look of them. They have bundles of energy - usually coming from Gio Dos Santos - and a nippy but neat style of play which is easy on the eyes.
They also have the requiste aggression not to get pushed around by bigger teams.
The loss of Carlos Vela to a suspected hamstring injury yesterday in truth was a blessing in disguise, as he was struggling to find his feet in the competition, and his replacement, Barrera, gave the team fresh impetus, and they scored two goals in the second half.
Not that France did a whole hell of a lot to stop them.
And then there's Chile.
Their quirky 3-3-1-3 formation yields goals, 32 in qualifying, and their win over Honduras would have been a much more empathic victory were it not for the heroics of Honduran keeper Valladares.
Honduras were disappointing, but that's not to take anything away from Chile, who had 'dark horses' written all over them.
But South America aside, I picked Spain as the winners and I'm not going to change my prediction - that's cheating! Plus I just can't see them not improving.
They have a squad which on paper could beat anybody.
'Good on paper' so the joke goes means 'bad in bed' and Spain certainly did not live up to expectations against Switerland! However I'm expecting a much improved performance against Honduras.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 18/6/2010
The Germans have a reputation for dull but efficient football, grinding out results in the early stages but somehow beating almost everybody.
But not this Germany.
The 2010 Germany squad is who are a real team of talented youngsters revelling in the freedom they have been given with the removal of Ballack.
With an average of approximately 24, this Germany team has all the confidence of youth and features a number of players hoping to be playing in the Premier League next season.
The World Cup is one hell of a shop window!
Having destroyed Australia in their opening fixture, Germany will only gather momentum and should easily top Group D.
But aside from Germany, it is the South American teams which have caught my eye.
Diego Maradona's Argentina could not quite impose their full weight against Nigeria, despite the 1-0 win, but everything came to fruition against the unfortunate South Korea who were beaten 4-1 largely by a Higuain hat-trick.
Messi has not yet got himself on the scoresheet, but has showed flashes of brilliance, and is not in fact needed, such is the quality that surrounds him.
Argentina probably cannot be matched as an attacking force, but their defence looks dangerously vulnerable at times.
Uruguay are my second team in this tournament. Having spent some time with players from a Uruguayan futsal team, I feel a certain affinity for the nation and support the team, whenever it does not affect England, despite not yet visiting the country.
Diego Forlan is an exceptional player and now that he is off the mark, could very well fire Uruguay in the final stages of the competition.
The two time winners have waited even longer than England to taste World Cup success again, and while I'm not backing them to make it three, I do think they will be in the mix.
Brazil were only really at half speed and were shocked into something approaching submission for 45 minutes by North Korea.
However, you wouldn't want to be the Ivory Coast on Sunday.
But it is Mexico and Chile which interest me the most.
When England played Mexico in that first friendly after Capello named his initial 30, I really liked the look of them. They have bundles of energy - usually coming from Gio Dos Santos - and a nippy but neat style of play which is easy on the eyes.
They also have the requiste aggression not to get pushed around by bigger teams.
The loss of Carlos Vela to a suspected hamstring injury yesterday in truth was a blessing in disguise, as he was struggling to find his feet in the competition, and his replacement, Barrera, gave the team fresh impetus, and they scored two goals in the second half.
Not that France did a whole hell of a lot to stop them.
And then there's Chile.
Their quirky 3-3-1-3 formation yields goals, 32 in qualifying, and their win over Honduras would have been a much more empathic victory were it not for the heroics of Honduran keeper Valladares.
Honduras were disappointing, but that's not to take anything away from Chile, who had 'dark horses' written all over them.
But South America aside, I picked Spain as the winners and I'm not going to change my prediction - that's cheating! Plus I just can't see them not improving.
They have a squad which on paper could beat anybody.
'Good on paper' so the joke goes means 'bad in bed' and Spain certainly did not live up to expectations against Switerland! However I'm expecting a much improved performance against Honduras.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 18/6/2010
TOP TEN NAMES OF THE 2010 WORLD CUP 16-6-10
We may have been deprieved of Andrey Arshavin due to Russia being a bit rubbish and not qualifying for the 2010 World Cup, but this year their is a plethora of purile, pretentious or just plain unpronounceable names for the odd selection of not very successful managers masquerading as commentators to have a crack at pronouncing.
Here are our top ten:
1. Siphiwe Tshabalala - South Africa
Not only does Siphiwe have, not one, but two, amusing and largely unintelligible names, he also scored the opening goal of the tournament on home soil and followed it up with definitely the best goal celebration if the early stages of the competition. Awesome!
2. Gerardo Torrado - Mexico
In so high largely because his name amused the SportingPreview.com web designer, and we like to keep him happy. Also it is irresistible to keep saying it in a Speedy Gonzales sqeaky voice. Try it.
3. Bastian Schweinsteiger - Germany
As we all know 'Schweinsteiger' means pig mounter in German. Enough said.
4. Steven Pienaar - South African
Juvenille I know, but I'm reliably informed (by my half swedish former flat mate) that 'Pienaar' means 'stick' or 'finger' in Swedish, so had they qualified, the Swedes could have had a good giggle. Mind you, it might amuse Sven.
Oh and South Africa get two for being the host nation.
5. Maximiliano Pereira - Uruguay
Anyone who can pull off 'Maximiliano' as a christian name get's maximum respect, and had it not finished, probably a part in Lost.
6. Maximiliano Rodriguez - Argentina
See above, only for some reason 'Rodriguez' isn't quite as cool as 'Pereira', maybe because it is the South American equivalent of Roberts, probably.
7. Danny Shittu - Nigeria
We are back to the purile here, but still, the Bolton man needs no introduction.
8. Jung Sung-ryong - South Korea
We have all heard the jokes above Asian food and the Korean players sounding like a menu. However if you listen, they actually sound more like you are singing! and Jung Sung-ryong sounds like an admonision from a small child, or possibly an English footballer.
9. Socrates Papastathopoulos - Greece
The longest name in the Greece squad is also the hardest to prounouce, good luck my journalist brethren, I'm glad I'm run a web site and not a radio station!
10. Waldo Ponce - Chile
Wow his parents really didn't give him a chance did they?
Runners up include: Edson Buddle (USA) Curiously old fashioned, Georgie Welcome (Honduras) and Jean-Jacques Gosso Gosso (Ivory Coast).
At last count (not really) in the 2010 World Cup, there were as many Diego's as Stephens (all versions of the name) a Roque (Santa Cruz) and at least one hard case (Wilson Palacios). Even if the football's not great, you have to love it!
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 16/6/2010
Here are our top ten:
1. Siphiwe Tshabalala - South Africa
Not only does Siphiwe have, not one, but two, amusing and largely unintelligible names, he also scored the opening goal of the tournament on home soil and followed it up with definitely the best goal celebration if the early stages of the competition. Awesome!
2. Gerardo Torrado - Mexico
In so high largely because his name amused the SportingPreview.com web designer, and we like to keep him happy. Also it is irresistible to keep saying it in a Speedy Gonzales sqeaky voice. Try it.
3. Bastian Schweinsteiger - Germany
As we all know 'Schweinsteiger' means pig mounter in German. Enough said.
4. Steven Pienaar - South African
Juvenille I know, but I'm reliably informed (by my half swedish former flat mate) that 'Pienaar' means 'stick' or 'finger' in Swedish, so had they qualified, the Swedes could have had a good giggle. Mind you, it might amuse Sven.
Oh and South Africa get two for being the host nation.
5. Maximiliano Pereira - Uruguay
Anyone who can pull off 'Maximiliano' as a christian name get's maximum respect, and had it not finished, probably a part in Lost.
6. Maximiliano Rodriguez - Argentina
See above, only for some reason 'Rodriguez' isn't quite as cool as 'Pereira', maybe because it is the South American equivalent of Roberts, probably.
7. Danny Shittu - Nigeria
We are back to the purile here, but still, the Bolton man needs no introduction.
8. Jung Sung-ryong - South Korea
We have all heard the jokes above Asian food and the Korean players sounding like a menu. However if you listen, they actually sound more like you are singing! and Jung Sung-ryong sounds like an admonision from a small child, or possibly an English footballer.
9. Socrates Papastathopoulos - Greece
The longest name in the Greece squad is also the hardest to prounouce, good luck my journalist brethren, I'm glad I'm run a web site and not a radio station!
10. Waldo Ponce - Chile
Wow his parents really didn't give him a chance did they?
Runners up include: Edson Buddle (USA) Curiously old fashioned, Georgie Welcome (Honduras) and Jean-Jacques Gosso Gosso (Ivory Coast).
At last count (not really) in the 2010 World Cup, there were as many Diego's as Stephens (all versions of the name) a Roque (Santa Cruz) and at least one hard case (Wilson Palacios). Even if the football's not great, you have to love it!
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 16/6/2010
THE ENGLAND 23 - LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN! 1-6-10
Let's do the time warp again.
At the time of writing, the final England 23 is due to be announced. Of course it was due to be announced at 1:00pm, 2:00pm and 3:00pm so who knows?
But the news is leaking like a paddling pool with the plug missing.
It would seem that the seven missing out are: Adam Johnson, Darren Bent, Leighton Baines, Theo Walcott, Scott Parker, Tom Huddlestone and either Michael Dawson or Ledley King.
Apparently it does not matter who the manager is because, essentially, the team picks itself, and not in a good way.
David James, Emile Heskey, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard, Michael Carrick, John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Wayne Rooney, Shaun-Wright-Philips, Joe Cole.
These players are all, apparently, certain to go to South Africa.
It's not that I have a problem with the players themselves, it's more a nagging certainty that recent form and/or injuries made very little difference to Capello's selection.
The England squad is in a time warp.
Apart from the inclusion of Joe Hart, it bears no resemblance to the domestic season just gone.
Joe Hart is the exception that proves the rule, but despite being the pick of the three goalkeepers, he is likely to be third choice in South Africa because he has no World Cup experience.
Adam Johnson had a much better season at City than Shaun Wright Philips, Scott Parker had a better season than Gareth Barry, everybody in every league across the world had a better season than Michael Carrick!
Ok, maybe not quite, but close enough to make his inclusion incredibly worrying.
Theo Walcott is a tricky one as he has not had a great season, but on balance I would still have taken him as an impact sub.
I fully admit I'm slightly biased towards Adam Johnson. Firstly I'm a Boro fan, and secondly I would count him as an acquaintance having worked closely with the Boro players for a couple of seasons now in my capacity as a journalist.
But here are the footballing reasons I would have taken him:
1. He is left footed
2. He's been brilliant since joining City and was Boro's top scorer before he left
3. According to media at the training camp, he was the only one to score three penalties
4. He was also one of the best at crosses - something he has clearly worked on
5. He can play on the right, and is equally comfortable
6. He's in blistering form and full of confidence
7. He would be an unknown quantity for the opposition
8. He is not particularly injury prone, and more importantly is fitting fit right now
9. Manchester City stats - 16 appearances, 11 assists, 1 goal (premiersoccerstats.com)
10. There's something about him that makes you think he could have done something special.
And that's just my top ten!
For the record, SWP made 30 appearances for City last season, 19 as a sub, grabbed nine assists and scored four goals, none of which got Goal of the Season, which was of course scored by Adam Johnson against hometown club Sunderland. I'm just saying...
But this column is not about Johnson, not really.
It is basically just me, as a fan, expressing my disappointment that the manager of my national team, who is being paid partly for his ability to inspire, has shown so little imagination, and a complete inability to take a risk.
I sincerely hope that this England squad can prove me wrong.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 1/6/2010
At the time of writing, the final England 23 is due to be announced. Of course it was due to be announced at 1:00pm, 2:00pm and 3:00pm so who knows?
But the news is leaking like a paddling pool with the plug missing.
It would seem that the seven missing out are: Adam Johnson, Darren Bent, Leighton Baines, Theo Walcott, Scott Parker, Tom Huddlestone and either Michael Dawson or Ledley King.
Apparently it does not matter who the manager is because, essentially, the team picks itself, and not in a good way.
David James, Emile Heskey, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard, Michael Carrick, John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Wayne Rooney, Shaun-Wright-Philips, Joe Cole.
These players are all, apparently, certain to go to South Africa.
It's not that I have a problem with the players themselves, it's more a nagging certainty that recent form and/or injuries made very little difference to Capello's selection.
The England squad is in a time warp.
Apart from the inclusion of Joe Hart, it bears no resemblance to the domestic season just gone.
Joe Hart is the exception that proves the rule, but despite being the pick of the three goalkeepers, he is likely to be third choice in South Africa because he has no World Cup experience.
Adam Johnson had a much better season at City than Shaun Wright Philips, Scott Parker had a better season than Gareth Barry, everybody in every league across the world had a better season than Michael Carrick!
Ok, maybe not quite, but close enough to make his inclusion incredibly worrying.
Theo Walcott is a tricky one as he has not had a great season, but on balance I would still have taken him as an impact sub.
I fully admit I'm slightly biased towards Adam Johnson. Firstly I'm a Boro fan, and secondly I would count him as an acquaintance having worked closely with the Boro players for a couple of seasons now in my capacity as a journalist.
But here are the footballing reasons I would have taken him:
1. He is left footed
2. He's been brilliant since joining City and was Boro's top scorer before he left
3. According to media at the training camp, he was the only one to score three penalties
4. He was also one of the best at crosses - something he has clearly worked on
5. He can play on the right, and is equally comfortable
6. He's in blistering form and full of confidence
7. He would be an unknown quantity for the opposition
8. He is not particularly injury prone, and more importantly is fitting fit right now
9. Manchester City stats - 16 appearances, 11 assists, 1 goal (premiersoccerstats.com)
10. There's something about him that makes you think he could have done something special.
And that's just my top ten!
For the record, SWP made 30 appearances for City last season, 19 as a sub, grabbed nine assists and scored four goals, none of which got Goal of the Season, which was of course scored by Adam Johnson against hometown club Sunderland. I'm just saying...
But this column is not about Johnson, not really.
It is basically just me, as a fan, expressing my disappointment that the manager of my national team, who is being paid partly for his ability to inspire, has shown so little imagination, and a complete inability to take a risk.
I sincerely hope that this England squad can prove me wrong.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 1/6/2010
MEDIA OVERDOSE ON ALL THINGS ENGLAND 28-5-10
Every four years England goes World Cup crazy, every advert features at least one player, a football or an England flag - depending on advertising budgets, news is reported along the lines of how it affects the World Cup, and those who don't participate are ostracized.
This isn't a rant against the World Cup - I love football and, like the rest of the country, will be planning my social life around the games.
But the whole country goes nuts, and the build up starts earlier every time.
It's like Christmas, only with occasional sunshine, perhaps this is what it's like to be Australian?
Anyway, I digress.
It isn't Christmas that I object to, nor the anticipation and excitement leading up to it, its the inevitable anti-climax. And the World Cup is usually the same.
Don't get me wrong, I think the human race, and particularly the British, need to get excited about more things, not less.
But what is driving me slightly crazy, in a bad way, is the total lack of perspective.
Stories abound about people being banned from wearing England shirts, even though there is little evidence to support the conspiracy theories.
And back on the pitch, every player is irreplaceable, as soon as they get injured or show exptremely poor judgement in their choice of bedfellows/drinking establishments or, in the case of the French, team bonding activities!
England often suffer from relying on individuals, but we love to do so, because it gives us a ready made excuse.
And with 14 days until the competition kicks off, the media have already produced this raft of reasons why we didn't win it (while all the while insisting we will).
"We didn't win the World Cup because..."
In no particular order: Wayne Rooney/Gareth Barry/John Terry got injured, the WAGS distracted the players, we couldn't cope with the altitude, bad reffing, penalties and transfer talk distracted the players.
Perhaps it is the fact that I'm a working journalist now, rather than at college as I was in the summer of 2000, or working in a bar without air conditioning in the heatwave of 2004, but I'm determined to enjoy this World Cup, rather than have great expectations and a massive comedown.
I'm trying to bring a sense of proportion to the proceedings.
I realise that, as a journalist, I'm perpetuating the cycle, but at least there will be no mention of 'we can't win the World Cup without Gareth Barry' here.
Bloody hell, if that's what it comes down to then we may as well watch Wimbledon, like the Scottish.
Since when did Gareth Barry become irreplaceable?!
Following his big money move to Man City - during which he conducted himself with manners befitting a sulky toddler - he has underwhelmed in just about every game of City's season, before putting in half a shift against Spurs and injuring himself in the process.
At the time of writing he has been put through 'rigorous training' and could be fit for purpose in about a month's time.
But he will still go. He's just the latest in a long line which is congering towards South Africa regardless of form or fitness.
Earlier this week, Talk Sport were asking how the listeners would like Capello to tell the seven unfortunates that they are not going to the World Cup.
I'd go with the reality Tv route. They have to wait for the lights to go out (meaning thay are going) until there a seven left. Phillip Schofield would announce the names.
At which point I start arguing with the TV as of the people involved can hear me!
There's the 'American's Next Top Model' route - if there isn't a picture of you, or maybe your shirt, then you aren't going.
I'm actually surprised the final selection isn't televised, the ratings would be huge!
But back to business, the seven I would leave behind are (in no particular order) Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Shaun-Wright-Philips, Emile Heskey, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock, Tom Huddlestone.
Although, as mentioned further down this column, Warnock could jump ahead of Baines if he gets a chance against Japan.
Why the others? Well, I think due to 'slight injury concerns' regarding messers Terry, King and Ferdinand, Dawson is a strong insurance policy.
Faffing about waiting to see if Barry is fit is an unnecessary headache when Parker has had a far better season.
Michael Carrick is the opposite of 'in form' and has been for about the last ten months.
Emile Heskey would never ever get in a team I pick, it is that simple.
I'd take more wingers than central midfielders because you only tend to sub central midfielders due to injury or if they are having a nightmare. Whereas wingers, as well as strikers, make the best impact subs.
My final 23 would therefore be:
Goalkeepers: Joe Hart, David James, Robert Green.
Defenders: Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry.
Midfielders: Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott.
Forwards: Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Wayne Rooney.
Having selected the team, Capello will still have to make them play together.
My colleague suggested that the best way to get Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard to work together was to handcuff them to each other and send them on a 'buddy movie' style adventure where they overcome some kind of jeporady and end up best friends for life.
Gerrard could admire Frank 'I've got an A Level in Latin' Lampard's intelligence, and Lamps would come to appreciate Stevie G's Scouser streetsmarts.
"You can be my wingman anytime"
"Bullshit, you can be mine!"
See, beautiful.
Although, for the record, I recommend Gerrard never plays on the left wing, he spent the whole of the first half against Mexico sulking and providing no support to the totally lost-looking Leighton Baines.
Speaking of Baines, anyone who is really trying to get into the squad would not be spouting off about being homesick and finding it hard being away from his family. Sorry, Baines, but suck it up and get on with it!
Baines, if he hasn't already blown his chances with an inept performance against Mexico, has a good chance of going to South Africa as back-up for Ashley Cole. And yet he's giving Capello every reason not to pick him. Bet Stephen Warnock wants to punch him right now!
If Warnock doesn't play against Japan this Sunday, he is not going. On the other hand, if he does get a run out, probably in the second half as a sub for Cole, he will not have to do much to better Baines' display against Mexico, one block or well-timed tackle would do it.
Also on the chopping block are Tom Huddlestone, Michael Dawson, Michael Carrick, Darren Bent or Emile Heskey, Scott Parker, Shaun-Wright-Philips, Theo Walcott, and perhaps to a lesser extent? Joe Cole, Aaron Lennon and Adam Johnson.
This is a true test of whether Capello will stand by pledge to pick players on 'form over reputation'.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 28/5/2010
This isn't a rant against the World Cup - I love football and, like the rest of the country, will be planning my social life around the games.
But the whole country goes nuts, and the build up starts earlier every time.
It's like Christmas, only with occasional sunshine, perhaps this is what it's like to be Australian?
Anyway, I digress.
It isn't Christmas that I object to, nor the anticipation and excitement leading up to it, its the inevitable anti-climax. And the World Cup is usually the same.
Don't get me wrong, I think the human race, and particularly the British, need to get excited about more things, not less.
But what is driving me slightly crazy, in a bad way, is the total lack of perspective.
Stories abound about people being banned from wearing England shirts, even though there is little evidence to support the conspiracy theories.
And back on the pitch, every player is irreplaceable, as soon as they get injured or show exptremely poor judgement in their choice of bedfellows/drinking establishments or, in the case of the French, team bonding activities!
England often suffer from relying on individuals, but we love to do so, because it gives us a ready made excuse.
And with 14 days until the competition kicks off, the media have already produced this raft of reasons why we didn't win it (while all the while insisting we will).
"We didn't win the World Cup because..."
In no particular order: Wayne Rooney/Gareth Barry/John Terry got injured, the WAGS distracted the players, we couldn't cope with the altitude, bad reffing, penalties and transfer talk distracted the players.
Perhaps it is the fact that I'm a working journalist now, rather than at college as I was in the summer of 2000, or working in a bar without air conditioning in the heatwave of 2004, but I'm determined to enjoy this World Cup, rather than have great expectations and a massive comedown.
I'm trying to bring a sense of proportion to the proceedings.
I realise that, as a journalist, I'm perpetuating the cycle, but at least there will be no mention of 'we can't win the World Cup without Gareth Barry' here.
Bloody hell, if that's what it comes down to then we may as well watch Wimbledon, like the Scottish.
Since when did Gareth Barry become irreplaceable?!
Following his big money move to Man City - during which he conducted himself with manners befitting a sulky toddler - he has underwhelmed in just about every game of City's season, before putting in half a shift against Spurs and injuring himself in the process.
At the time of writing he has been put through 'rigorous training' and could be fit for purpose in about a month's time.
But he will still go. He's just the latest in a long line which is congering towards South Africa regardless of form or fitness.
Earlier this week, Talk Sport were asking how the listeners would like Capello to tell the seven unfortunates that they are not going to the World Cup.
I'd go with the reality Tv route. They have to wait for the lights to go out (meaning thay are going) until there a seven left. Phillip Schofield would announce the names.
At which point I start arguing with the TV as of the people involved can hear me!
There's the 'American's Next Top Model' route - if there isn't a picture of you, or maybe your shirt, then you aren't going.
I'm actually surprised the final selection isn't televised, the ratings would be huge!
But back to business, the seven I would leave behind are (in no particular order) Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Shaun-Wright-Philips, Emile Heskey, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock, Tom Huddlestone.
Although, as mentioned further down this column, Warnock could jump ahead of Baines if he gets a chance against Japan.
Why the others? Well, I think due to 'slight injury concerns' regarding messers Terry, King and Ferdinand, Dawson is a strong insurance policy.
Faffing about waiting to see if Barry is fit is an unnecessary headache when Parker has had a far better season.
Michael Carrick is the opposite of 'in form' and has been for about the last ten months.
Emile Heskey would never ever get in a team I pick, it is that simple.
I'd take more wingers than central midfielders because you only tend to sub central midfielders due to injury or if they are having a nightmare. Whereas wingers, as well as strikers, make the best impact subs.
My final 23 would therefore be:
Goalkeepers: Joe Hart, David James, Robert Green.
Defenders: Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry.
Midfielders: Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott.
Forwards: Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Wayne Rooney.
Having selected the team, Capello will still have to make them play together.
My colleague suggested that the best way to get Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard to work together was to handcuff them to each other and send them on a 'buddy movie' style adventure where they overcome some kind of jeporady and end up best friends for life.
Gerrard could admire Frank 'I've got an A Level in Latin' Lampard's intelligence, and Lamps would come to appreciate Stevie G's Scouser streetsmarts.
"You can be my wingman anytime"
"Bullshit, you can be mine!"
See, beautiful.
Although, for the record, I recommend Gerrard never plays on the left wing, he spent the whole of the first half against Mexico sulking and providing no support to the totally lost-looking Leighton Baines.
Speaking of Baines, anyone who is really trying to get into the squad would not be spouting off about being homesick and finding it hard being away from his family. Sorry, Baines, but suck it up and get on with it!
Baines, if he hasn't already blown his chances with an inept performance against Mexico, has a good chance of going to South Africa as back-up for Ashley Cole. And yet he's giving Capello every reason not to pick him. Bet Stephen Warnock wants to punch him right now!
If Warnock doesn't play against Japan this Sunday, he is not going. On the other hand, if he does get a run out, probably in the second half as a sub for Cole, he will not have to do much to better Baines' display against Mexico, one block or well-timed tackle would do it.
Also on the chopping block are Tom Huddlestone, Michael Dawson, Michael Carrick, Darren Bent or Emile Heskey, Scott Parker, Shaun-Wright-Philips, Theo Walcott, and perhaps to a lesser extent? Joe Cole, Aaron Lennon and Adam Johnson.
This is a true test of whether Capello will stand by pledge to pick players on 'form over reputation'.
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 28/5/2010
WHEN WILL FERGUSON LEAVE MANCHESTER UNITED? 18-5-10
Sir Alex Ferguson has repeated his desire to stay at Manchester United for the forseeable future, particularly if the team are 'struggling'.
United finished second, and missed the top spot by only a point, which is not most people's idea of struggling. However, they only won the Carling Cup this season, a poor haul for a trophy greedy club who must consider their season to be a major disappointment, if not an unmitigated disaster. Take away Wayne Rooney and there is every chance it could have been.
So Ferguson will stay to try to recapture the glory days.
But will it work?
It has been eight years since Ferguson announced his retirement and then returned to work at the start of the next season as if nothing had changed.
He then announced in 2008 that he would only manage the club for a further three years, which would see him retire in the summer of next year. But when asked by the press about this matter in April, Ferguson said he wanted to stay.
Ferguson keeps his grip on the reins of the Red Devils, but the team have lost their grip on the league.
There is every chance of United taking the Premier League title back from Chelsea next season, but it seems very unlikely that they will manage another treble.
The have slipped back slightly, the problem is other teams have made huge strides forward.
With Tottenham Hotspur's emergence as a new top four team and the multi-millionaires at Manchester City snapping at their heels, it is getting harder and harder for the old guard to maintain their dominance.
Spurs have the funds, and the basic squad already in place to challenge anyone, and whatever Manchester City still lack, they will simply purchase.
United's finances are still rather mysterious, with takeover talk squashed amidst a sea of yellow and green scarves.
I don't think Manchester United will slip out of the top four for a few years yet, but they could find themselves playing catch up if they do not find a better balance within the team.
Rooney has replaced Ronaldo's goals, but nobody has replaced his creativity.
From a neutral perspective, the United first team is three pages of has beens, might bes, never gonna bes and who the hell are yous!
There are of course exceptions to this rule, Wayne Rooney is a world class player, Nani had a blistering end to his season and Edwin Van Der Sar remains one of the best goalkeepers in the Premier League.
But deputy goalkeeper Ben Foster could not cope when called into action for the injured Van Der Sar, and is finalising a move to Birmingham at the time of writing. Dimitar Berbatov has been a massive disappointment, Michael Owen should never have signed for United, Owen Hargreaves hasn't managed an hour of football, Michael Carrick is just not United quality, and the list goes on.
United seem to have lost their aura, they are breakable, and beatable.
Since newly promoted Burnley stunned everyone by not only beating United at Turf Moor, but keeping a clean sheet against them, way back in August, 'lesser' teams decided to have a go.
Not that United didn't still take teams apart, and weren't excellent on their day, because they were.
It's just that teams who usually would write off matches against United found they could pick up points. Sunderland managed a draw against them, so did Blackburn, Birmingham did one better and recorded two score draws and Fulham beat them at Craven Cottage, and Aston Villa were victorious at Old Trafford.
Their weaknesses have been exposed, and for the first time that I can remember, during the 2009-10 season, they experienced a proper injury crisis.
Big names Rooney, Vidic and Ferdinand have all struggled with long term problems, while the treatment room was hardly ever empty.
On the World stage too, United are sliding.
Since Barcelona made them look staggeringly average in the 2009 Champions League final, they have not been the same force outside of the domestic league.
They were knocked out by Bayern Munich in the quarter finals this year and went out of the FA Cup in the third round to hated rivals Leeds United. Even the current England squad reflects the decline in talent at Manchester United.
In Fabio Capello's provisional 30, only three players are from Manchester United. Rio Ferdinand, Wayne Rooney, and Michael Carrick. Paul Scholes refused to return.
Ferguson himself is now 68, certainly no spring chicken, and while his experience as well as his almost unmatched talents as a manager have enriched the Premier League for well over a decade there will come a point in the not too distant future when he simply cannot do it anymore.
And its not just the manager.
Players such as Ryan Giggs, at 36, would normally be retiring this season, but do not want to go out with, well, a Carling Cup. Gary Neville is 35, so is Paul Scholes. These three have arguably been three of the best performers this season, but are in the winter of their careers.
Maybe their day in the sun is over and it is time for someone new?
Jose Mourinho is the United fan's favourite to replace Ferguson should he hang up his hairdryer. But reports suggest Mourinho will move to Real Madrid this summer.
"If we hit a bad spell, it would not be the right time to go," Ferguson told the Press Association recently.
"I would not want to put the new manager into a situation where he was taking over a bad team. I want to leave United in a good, healthy position."
United are not a 'bad team' but neither are they the team they once were.
Perhaps Ferguson has already hung on too long? maybe he should have retired at the top?
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 18/5/2010
United finished second, and missed the top spot by only a point, which is not most people's idea of struggling. However, they only won the Carling Cup this season, a poor haul for a trophy greedy club who must consider their season to be a major disappointment, if not an unmitigated disaster. Take away Wayne Rooney and there is every chance it could have been.
So Ferguson will stay to try to recapture the glory days.
But will it work?
It has been eight years since Ferguson announced his retirement and then returned to work at the start of the next season as if nothing had changed.
He then announced in 2008 that he would only manage the club for a further three years, which would see him retire in the summer of next year. But when asked by the press about this matter in April, Ferguson said he wanted to stay.
Ferguson keeps his grip on the reins of the Red Devils, but the team have lost their grip on the league.
There is every chance of United taking the Premier League title back from Chelsea next season, but it seems very unlikely that they will manage another treble.
The have slipped back slightly, the problem is other teams have made huge strides forward.
With Tottenham Hotspur's emergence as a new top four team and the multi-millionaires at Manchester City snapping at their heels, it is getting harder and harder for the old guard to maintain their dominance.
Spurs have the funds, and the basic squad already in place to challenge anyone, and whatever Manchester City still lack, they will simply purchase.
United's finances are still rather mysterious, with takeover talk squashed amidst a sea of yellow and green scarves.
I don't think Manchester United will slip out of the top four for a few years yet, but they could find themselves playing catch up if they do not find a better balance within the team.
Rooney has replaced Ronaldo's goals, but nobody has replaced his creativity.
From a neutral perspective, the United first team is three pages of has beens, might bes, never gonna bes and who the hell are yous!
There are of course exceptions to this rule, Wayne Rooney is a world class player, Nani had a blistering end to his season and Edwin Van Der Sar remains one of the best goalkeepers in the Premier League.
But deputy goalkeeper Ben Foster could not cope when called into action for the injured Van Der Sar, and is finalising a move to Birmingham at the time of writing. Dimitar Berbatov has been a massive disappointment, Michael Owen should never have signed for United, Owen Hargreaves hasn't managed an hour of football, Michael Carrick is just not United quality, and the list goes on.
United seem to have lost their aura, they are breakable, and beatable.
Since newly promoted Burnley stunned everyone by not only beating United at Turf Moor, but keeping a clean sheet against them, way back in August, 'lesser' teams decided to have a go.
Not that United didn't still take teams apart, and weren't excellent on their day, because they were.
It's just that teams who usually would write off matches against United found they could pick up points. Sunderland managed a draw against them, so did Blackburn, Birmingham did one better and recorded two score draws and Fulham beat them at Craven Cottage, and Aston Villa were victorious at Old Trafford.
Their weaknesses have been exposed, and for the first time that I can remember, during the 2009-10 season, they experienced a proper injury crisis.
Big names Rooney, Vidic and Ferdinand have all struggled with long term problems, while the treatment room was hardly ever empty.
On the World stage too, United are sliding.
Since Barcelona made them look staggeringly average in the 2009 Champions League final, they have not been the same force outside of the domestic league.
They were knocked out by Bayern Munich in the quarter finals this year and went out of the FA Cup in the third round to hated rivals Leeds United. Even the current England squad reflects the decline in talent at Manchester United.
In Fabio Capello's provisional 30, only three players are from Manchester United. Rio Ferdinand, Wayne Rooney, and Michael Carrick. Paul Scholes refused to return.
Ferguson himself is now 68, certainly no spring chicken, and while his experience as well as his almost unmatched talents as a manager have enriched the Premier League for well over a decade there will come a point in the not too distant future when he simply cannot do it anymore.
And its not just the manager.
Players such as Ryan Giggs, at 36, would normally be retiring this season, but do not want to go out with, well, a Carling Cup. Gary Neville is 35, so is Paul Scholes. These three have arguably been three of the best performers this season, but are in the winter of their careers.
Maybe their day in the sun is over and it is time for someone new?
Jose Mourinho is the United fan's favourite to replace Ferguson should he hang up his hairdryer. But reports suggest Mourinho will move to Real Madrid this summer.
"If we hit a bad spell, it would not be the right time to go," Ferguson told the Press Association recently.
"I would not want to put the new manager into a situation where he was taking over a bad team. I want to leave United in a good, healthy position."
United are not a 'bad team' but neither are they the team they once were.
Perhaps Ferguson has already hung on too long? maybe he should have retired at the top?
First published on www.SportingPreview.com on 18/5/2010
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